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Between The Hashes Week 1: Stone Cold, Broccoli and one fast ballboy

Between the Hashes: Weird and wild from Week 1

Sports Illustrated's Martin Rickman explores the weirder side of college football Week 1.

Take a deep breath. Smile. Do a small fist pump. Drink a bubbly beverage. Celebrate however you wish because we finally made it.

Week 1 of the college football season is in the books! (Well, not technically, as we still have a couple games on Sunday and one Labor Day special).

We spend the whole offseason missing the hits, the uniforms, the ridiculous plays, the not-so-smart decisions, the quotes and the fans, and once they're back it's like we're home with about the biggest, most eclectic extended family we could ask for. 

Last year I started Between The Hashes to celebrate the weird and unique things that make college football its zany, often inexplicable self. "Well you see this coach ate grass one time, no I mean he actually ate grass no we don't really know why he did it but he also is a big fan of Columbus Day... why are you walking away? I have to tell you about the time this other coach held up a cat." Naturally, I'm excited to bring the series back for another go-round. Strap yourselves in. It's going to be a fun year.

(Special thanks as always to the tireless folks who screengrab, GIF, Vine, Loop, Photoshop, tweet and otherwise make our lives better. This goes especially for @CJZero, Tim Burke, @WorldOfIsaac and pretty much everybody at SB Nation.)

From Anchor Down to Anchors Aweigh

It was a big week for uniforms, as Vanderbilt looked great in its all-black "Anchor Down" unis. Unfortunately, its play on the field was downright ugly as the 'Dores fell 37-7 at home to Temple. There was only one problem – Vandy's uniforms weren't exactly street legal. As a result the Commodores were supposed to be penalized a timeout a quarter, but they came prepared with an email from the SEC which gave them permission (the SEC later said that was a mistake). Crisis averted thanks to smart school documentation.

As for another nautical bunch, Navy went with some of the best uniforms I've ever seen, and these are just alternates. It's already easy to root for the Naval Academy, between do-it-all quarterback Keenan Reynolds, the option attack and that whole freedom thing, but those guys consistently have some of the best color combinations out there. Oh and the handshake with every member of the opposing team at midfield isn't so bad either.

Let's Go Sports!

It's understated but says everything it needs to say. This is officially the best sign since "PUNT." Thank you, dear Georgia fan.

Although it is possible he was just celebrating his favorite college player, South Carolina's Will Sport.

Days Since A GameDay Incident On The Job: 0

Giving Lee Corso a gun is never a good bad idea.

Oh, and Stone Cold Steve Austin was there giving hope for a Bill Murray vs. Stone Cold Battle Royale celebrity picker event. That should only end with some version of that Hunter S. Thompson shotgun golf anecdote (you know, the one where he hits golf balls and shoots at them).

Football: Now Packed With More Fiber!

Thanks to Tulane's Steven Broccoli for proving healthy eating can make all your dreams come true.

Plays of the Week

Let's take a second to first recognize the hustle of this Auburn ball boy. Somebody get this guy a scholarship to Northwestern or something.

Now that that's out of the way, here are your nominees. Penn State's Geno Lewis juggled a deep ball and focused through the catch:

Florida State's Jameis Winston showed every bit of athleticism he's got on this touchdown run:

But nothing is probably going to top this catch from Tommy Armstrong of Nebraska. Way to kick your rear into high gear, kid.

Michigan State Mockingjay

​The Spartans' Shilique Calhoun went with an extra special celebration in MSU's 45-7 win over Jacksonville State on Friday.

Now if only we could find a way to get everyone to start calling Mark Dantonio "The Coach On Fire."

Quotes of the Week

No time for details. Let's let the words speak for themselves.

The Ricky Dobbs All-Stars

As a general refresher, each week we will highlight some of the best statlines of the week, in honor of former Navy quarterback Ricky Dobbs. 

  • Texas A&M QB Kenny Hill, 44-60, 511 yards, 3 TD vs. South Carolina 
  • Tulsa WR Keevan Lucas 13 catches, 233 yards, 3 TD vs. Tulane
  • BYU QB Taysom Hill, 308 yards passing, 97 yards rushing, 5 total TD vs. UConn
  • WSU QB Connor Halliday, 40-56, 532 yards, 5 TD vs. Rutgers
  • WKU QB Brandon Doughty, 569 yards, 6 TD vs. Bowling Green
  • UCLA LB Eric Kendricks, 16 tackles, 1 forced fumble, 37-yard interception TD vs. Virginia
  • Stanford KR/WR Ty Montgomery, 70 receiving yards, receiving TD, 60-yard punt return TD vs. UC Davis
  • Notre Dame QB Everett Golson, 295 passing yards, 41 rushing yards, 5 total TD vs. Rice
  • Nebraska RB Ameer Abdullah, 271 yards, 2 TD vs. FAU
  • Missouri DL Markus Golden, 10 tackles, 3 tackles for loss, 1.5 sacks vs. South Dakota State 
  • Georgia RB Todd Gurley, 198 rushing yards, 3 rushing TD, 100-yard kickoff return TD
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