Designated Read: Punt to glory
• Vandals heroic in their own fashion: Yesterday, Stewart Mandel alerted the internet to the fact that Idaho's punter has already booted the ball away 61 times at the season's midpoint. After putting together this morning's Switzies piece, I was urged by a commenter to check out the Vandals' total punting yards figure and compare it to their total offensive tallies. You might not be surprised to learn this, but here you go: To date, according to NCAA database statistics, Idaho has recorded 2,938 yards' worth of punts in 2011 play ... and 2,042 yards of total offense. Does this achievement not merit its own pored-over watch list and December trophy?
• Whither, honey badger? Associated Press: "LSU has suspended star cornerback Tyrann Mathieu, defensive back Tharold Simon and running back Spencer Ware for this Saturday's home game against Auburn because they've run afoul of the team's drug policy, according to a person familiar with the decision." Les Miles: "I certainly understand the interest surrounding what seems to be news. The problem with that news is it's internal discipline and internal function of a team. I'm not inclined to be forthcoming with information." Well, that clears THAT up.
• Dumbest suspension in recorded human history comes to a close: The impeccably named Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe is back in action for Boise State, following a six-game suspension for what were characterized as improper benefits bestowed upon the Amsterdam native by his American host family. Y'know, high-end stuff like food and shelter. Real nefarious character, this kid.
• Quote of the day/Injured list hero: "Colorado free safety Ray Polk has a bad wrist, fractured sternum and concussion and hopes to play Saturday against Oregon." -- Kyle Ringo
• The day in ouchies: Darron Thomas and LaMichael James both plan to at least travel with the Ducks to Colorado. Clemson's Tony Steward is betrayed once again by a traitorous ACL. USC's Marc Tyler has been cleared to return to action by team doctors and will be a game-time decision Saturday. Stanford's Delano Howell will miss the Washington game with a hand injury.
• Roster blotter: Elsewhere in two-deep shuffles: Vandy's Logan Stewart and Georgia's Kwame Geathers and Shawn Williams will be benched for the first halves of their next games for fighting. Miami's Micanor Regis will sit against Georgia Tech. And Jordan Rogers will replace Larry Smith as starting quarterback for the Commodores against Army. • Thursday whimsy: Educate yourselves on the most important rule of being a sports fan. So it turns out Stanford has lots of good football players. Chris Petersen would like you to respect our future troops. Athenians may drink freely, to everyone's great relief. The Mountain West would like a playoff, please, again. And was this the first Four Loko-related arrest of the season? How time does fly.