Designated Read: More like WACtion, amirite?
• Northern Illinois 63, Toledo 60: From yesterday: "Neither squad is super-inclined toward playing lights-out defense." Sorry for underselling, but will this teach you to watch the MACtion games, already? Had it not been for some truly puzzling clock management by the Rockets in the waning minutes of the game, we might have seen the first never-ending overtime game called on account of daylight. But the numbers are gaudy as is: 17 touchdowns; a conference record for Eric Page; more than 1,100 combined yards of offense; 160 rushing yards for Adonis Thomas; and 133 for Chandler Harnish, when he wasn't busy throwing six touchdown passes. Are you not entertained? [RECAP | BOX]
• Blah blah Big East: The Big East is combining lunch tables for safety in numbers! We'll probably need a new way of referring to this new conference! And West Virginia's totally secured a safe and seamless exit by being all, "Um, we can too leave the Big East; WE HAD A CEREMONY and everything."
• Quote of the day: "I'm angry that Tim Beckman cost America six or seven overtimes of this madness. We could have seen triple digits." -- Tony Gerdeman
There even were conflicting reports that he smiled in the victorious locker room.
“Yes, he smiled and told us he loved us,” Reamer said.
“No,” said cornerback Javier Arenas.
“Maybe,” laughed quarterback John Parker Wilson.
“I’m excited,” said Saban, looking not the least bit excited.
• Roster blotter: A week after stuffing the ball down the Florida Gators' gullet, Georgia will test a hot new hypothesis against mighty New Mexico State: What happens if, hypothetically, you don't run the ball at all because you literally, actually can't field a tailback? Indiana's trying the same fun experiment, but with receivers. Arkansas' Marquel Wade will sit the South Carolina game in a well-deserved suspension. As expected, Garrett Gilbert will continue his college career at SMU. Texas is also losing redshirt freshman receiver Chris Jones.• Wednesday whimsy: Statheads, meet the SRS. LSU's punt return numbers are terrifying. Miami is kind of a mess. Comparing the NCAA to organized crime should about fix everything, don't you think? And Pat Dye has some thoughts.