We had a feeling late last week* that if we held off on our irregularly scheduled slow news day distraction item, the Allstate Police Blotter Item of the Week -- which continues to not be sponsored by Allstate, at all -- the drinking holiday weekend might yield low-hanging fruit. We were not wrong, thanks to the city of Orlando, upon which we can always count in these situations. These players’ life decisions are decidedly not in good hands.
Cast your vote below for the Allstate Police Blotter Item of the Week:**
Candidate 1: J.J. Worton, WR, Central Florida
The Incident: Felony resisting arrest, which takes some doing, and "felony battery on a peace officer," which DANGER DO NOT ATTEMPT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
The Case For: Worton was arrested at a St. Patrick's Day block party, which sort of seems like the point of a St. Patrick's Day block party.
The Case Against: Efficiency of actions leaves much to be desired. "The deputy evaded Worton's punch, and Worton ran south through the parking lot. After deputies searched the area, they found Worton hiding under a parked vehicle."
Candidate 2: Ashton Glaser, QB, Mizzou
The Incident: An unpaid speeding ticket, essentially. No, it gets better. Promise.
The Case For: The ticket in question fell in the mere 11-15 mph range, which shows Glaser has some measure of restraint.
The Case Against: The part where Glaser managed to get himself arrested and punched in the face all in one visit. How'd your Saturday night go?
According to the police report, Glaser, 21, knocked on the door of a female neighbor's residence early Sunday morning in South Columbia and an unidentified male came to the door, swung and hit him in the face, Officer Latisha Stroer said. Witnesses called police to the scene, but no one was arrested for the incident, only Glaser, who was found to have two warrants, both stemming from a Nov. 24 traffic stop in Laclede County.
Candidate 3: Jason Peacock, OT, Arkansas
The Incident: Stole a debit card.
The Case For: White collar crime can lead to a long and successful path in big business!
The Case Against: But this was stupid white collar crime. And using the card to buy $35 in gas? Mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling. If you're gonna be a felon, do it up proper.
*Or, we were blowing off work to watch basketball like the rest of you.