Once again, we find ourselves lending headline space to NIU linebacker Jamaal Bass on a Tuesday.
Bass, who can be seen here (far right) in commemorative gif form, was suspended by the team for enthusiastically plowing through two members of Toledo's marching band last November, and is now facing a pair of assault charges, one a felony.
If we ran the zoo, we'd settle this on the field by letting the two victims take a swing at Bass, then make everybody shake hands and part as friends. Bass wouldn't be getting off easy. Let us not speak of what a bassoon can do to a human body. [Photo via essential gif resource Gifulmination.]