Wednesday April 18th, 2012

In which the circumstances surrounding Arkansas football become somehow even more sad and weird:

What has two thumbs and a tenure with a team shorter than Bobby Petrino's with the Falcons? Surprising precisely no one, Jessica Dorrell is no longer a University of Arkansas employee. And don't expect to see her working as, I don't know, a boat show model in one of those hog hats any time soon, for the school has purchased her silence:

Arkansas said Dorrell’s resignation came with the understanding she “would not attempt to sell or profit from her affiliation with Razorback Athletics.”

The university also is paying Dorrell “approximately $14,000” as part of what it has called a “settlement and resolution of all matters between the parties.”

Those of you harboring grim feelings that Fred Smith's donation was to be used for buyouts, be at peace. But yes, we do find it sort of gross and weird that anybody involved in The Hawgpanky Experience gets to profit from it. For a more polite and measured take on Ms. Dorrell's impact on the sporting world, we'll point you to Christianne Harder.

Tomorrow's sports radio talking points today: WELL HE'S CLEARLY ONLY DOING THIS TO HONOR HIS COACH-TO-BE, PAAAOWL. Tyler Gilbert, who saw scant playing time as a freshman linebacker for the Razorbacks in 2011, has a spring stat sheet that reads, thus far, "INDEFINITE SUSPENSIONS: 1." Gilbert's charged with aggravated burglary  for his involvement in the theft of the following delightfully motley list of items from an apartment:

Items listed as stolen include a purple and gold Omega Psi Phi banner, camouflage military clothing, a plastic purple and gold "Jason" hockey mask, two dog collars and and four $20 bills.
For the mask and dog collars alone, we award Arkansas the Allstate Police Blotter Item of the Week Award, which continues to be in no way sponsored by Allstate. Congratulations?

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