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Weekend Whimsy: Needs more moped

Isaiah Crowell had 850 rushing yards and five touchdowns last season. (Getty Images)

Lovingly curated light reading to speed you through to the weekend.

MARK RICHT HAS LOST CONTROL OF oh forget it. The "Mark Richt Has Lost Control Of This Football Team, Again, No AGAIN" meme that erupts every time a Georgia player runs afoul of the ever-vigilant Athens police department is not nearly as much fun to trot out when it's not a scooter-related arrest. (They are mostly scooter-related arrests. You might have heard.)

No, the moped arrest is not back in vogue at this time, but we do have a repeat offender to address: Isaiah Crowell, the five-star tailback who was the jewel of the highly-regarded 2011 signing class and led the Bulldogs in rushing last season (even when factoring in two suspensions), was arrested this morning on three weapons charges, two of them felonies. The Columbus Ledger-Enquirer has the details on the incident, which stemmed from a stop at a police roadblock at which officers smelled marijuana in the car. No drug charges were filed, but a gun with an altered serial number in the car landed Crowell in county jail. Four teammates in the car with Crowell were released.

But is there an altered image of Crowell with that bulldog puppy he brought to his signing ceremony, in which the puppy is now holding a gun? What do you think Friends of the Program is for?

While we are on the topic of arrests: Texas A&M is not quiiiite in the SEC fold just yet, but they're already really good at acting like it: Freshman quarterback Johnny Manziel was also arrested in the wee hours this morning, this time for scuffling on a street corner. Is his name pronounced "man zeal"? There's a shirtless mugshot happening here, so probably!

Kiss our grits, "hockey," if that's even your real name. College football fan, you have two New Year's Eves to yourself remaining out of at least the next 14 years. Spend them wisely. Or in the Georgia Dome. Whatever.

But does it even matter when the bowls are played, what with college football being ruined and all?? Farewell to our most beautiful game.

Somebody has enough money to pay Nick Saban to show up at a beach. No, that's all. Pat Dye and Gene Stallings never actually left.

The Lane Kiffin Coach Integrity Bonus is a thing that exists. Carry on!

We see no way this could end in heartbreak. 

What's so funny?

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