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Designated Read: Mike Leach and lentils (and you!)

Washington State coach Mike Leach, seen here pondering a heart-healthy start to his day. (AP)

• Let's start our week off correctly, shall we? With some heart-healthy legumes and a quote from Mike Leach!

At a Pullman restaurant, Leach ordered a cup of lentil soup and fish tacos, prompting him to weigh in on lentils.

"I don't know what a lentil is," he confessed. "Actually, despite not having a great deal of expertise on lentils, I did know there was a lentil festival here. I'll have to get to the bottom of this lentil stuff."

Good morning!

• You're doing it wrong. We continue to shake our heads at the entities preventing The Longhorn Network from reaching more homes. We have said this before, but isn't it always best, as a species, to err on the side of More Football?

• Here is a photo of Nick Saban in an outdoor location that is not a football stadium or golf course. Still sort of baffled that this SEC beachgoing thing actually happened.

• Penn State update. The person identified as Jerry Sandusky's "Victim 1" is suing Penn State.

• You remember how the Smurfs used the word "smurf" as every possible part of speech? This is clearly where we're headed with "SEC," correct?

• Injury report story hour. Boston College's No. 1 receiver, the excellently named Bobby Swigert, has been sidelined with a left leg injury ... Maryland linebacker Kenny Tate will miss several weeks with a left knee injury ... Logan Thomas sat out part of Virginia Tech's Saturday practice to rest his shoulder ... and all USC injuries from here on out will be strictly products of your imagination, and sponsored by Lucasfilm.

• We've got movement on the freight elevator. Notre Dame suspends starting running back Cierre Wood and defensive end Justin Utupo for two games ... Tennessee standout receiver Da'Rick Rogers has transferred to Tennessee Tech, which is sad news from a "watching good football" standpoint but positive news from a "having to deal with Da'Rick Rogers" standpoint ... Texas Tech has dismissed linebacker Daniel Cobb following his arrest on burglary charges ... Arkansas State cornerback Tres Houston has been suspended for the entire 2012 season ... Buffalo linebacker Khalil Mack has been reinstated to the Bulls and will serve a one-game suspension ... Kansas linebacker Jon Shelby has left the Jayhawks ... USC cornerback Isaiah Wiley is academically ineligible for 2012 ... Rutgers defensive lineman Michael Larrow will miss the first four games of the season ... Auburn center Reese Dismukes is suspended indefinitely thanks to a public intoxication arrest ... Kansas longsnapper Justin Carnes will serve a three-game suspension ... Arkansas State has dismissed receiver Earl Lucas.

• Roster blotter. Boise State announces junior Joe Southwick will succeed Kellen Moore at quarterback.

• Misc. It's that time of year again, by which we mean "time to watch Mark Richt fall backward off a diving platform" ... What not to watch at Notre Dame this fall ... We're gonna go ahead and tack another win onto Houston's projected total target="_blank">because Tony Levine can play the saxophone ... Terry Bowden brought Jeff Bowden with him to Akron, for some reason ... TCU fans helpfully break down how much of Bevo one could theoretically eat ... Ole Miss partisans rustle up some hate for Central Arkansas ...  and the fondest of farewells to our colleague George Schroeder, who's moving on to USA Today.
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