• PEOPLE. WE ARE A DAY AWAY. GET IT TOGETHER. In other wrongity-wrong map news, please enjoy playing "how many mistakes are in this picture" with this map of college football rooting interests (via @RedditCFB).
• And now, the weather. To yesterday's list of teams affected by Hurricane Isaac, you may now add Louisiana Tech, which has moved its Thursday opener with Texas A&M to Oct. 13, and South Alabama, whose all-n00b debut versus UTSA will shift from Thursday to Saturday.
• Requisite Penn State update. From the Associated Press: "Former Penn State faculty leaders blasted the NCAA and former FBI director Louis Freeh on Tuesday over their handling of the Jerry Sandusky child sex-abuse scandal, saying Freeh's report -- prepared for the university -- and the NCAA's $60 million in fines unfairly punish the entire university community." No comment from the NCAA was immediately forthcoming, but we imagine its response involved yawning, stretching and casually examining its nails or bangs.
• The Thumb Of Urbz, Episode II. It is a true shame Ohio State backed off this "NO TWEETZ WHILE URBZ SPEAKZ" rule so quickly, because lord have mercy were we ever having a good time with it:
• #Menphis under very small siege. NCAA representatives in the Bluff City are focusing on Mississippi State, according to the Commercial Appeal. Hey, lookit, Mississippi State abjuring a booster!
• Quote of the day, I. "I get told by recruits, ‘Hey, I'm a hybrid.' I'm like, ‘Do I plug you in at night and get better gas mileage?'" -- Manny Diaz, who said like 10 other amazing things this week.
• Quote of the day, II. "Am I going to El Paso? Hell no. My friend, Marty Robbins, got his ass shot last time he was out there." -- Barry Switzer, doing Barry Switzer things.
• Roster blotter. Our theory that Seantrel Henderson is a footbally figment of our collective imaginations continues to go unchallenged ... Fitz Toussaint has had his charges reduced ... NC State corner C.J. Wilson will miss the season opener with what the team is calling an "eligibility issue" ... TCU offensive tackle James Dunbar is an academic roster casualty ... Bryan Bennett remains at Oregon, for the moment ... New Mexico quarterback David Vega has been suspended indefinitely following a weekend arrest ... and your Cincinnati starting quarterback is, praise be, MUNCHIE LEGAUX.
• Misc. Three men have been arrested
in connection with Monteé Ball's assault ... with all respect to our new colleague Pete Thamel
, we have already solved this selection committee thing
... Bret Bielema and Tony Levine should form some sort of all-coaches marching band
... and though our Fridays will never be the same, do not believe Saint Tess
has abandoned us.