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Designated Read: A quotable day

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

There's no way will this end in heartbreak and bitter recriminations: "Even though Penn State and Ohio State are banned from playing in the Big Ten title game or a bowl as part of NCAA sanctions, both are still eligible to win the conference's Leaders Division and receive a trophy this season."

• Poor Nick Saban, y'all. Managing expectations is a long game, and for Coach Avert-Your-Eyes, that game is Whack-a-Mole. Two national championships in three years, but HE'S JUST GOT ALL THESE FEELINGS.

"For Heller and Grahn, the story starts, improbably, with a longstanding question about bears." How did the biology of bears affect Stanford football?

"But this is the NCAA. 'Glacial' is a word that comes to mind." CBS' Matt Norlander preaches patience and reminds us that the UNC case is still a pretty long way from being any kind of over.

• Injury report story hour. Nathan Scheelhaase's ankle is improving, but his status for Illinois' Week 2 date with Arizona State is still in question ... Connor Shaw returns to practice for South Carolina ... USC's depth gets dinged at running back.

• Misc. Behold the return of The Numerical ... This November, Vote Duck ...  "Plaintiff, before June 2, 2010, was unfamiliar with football other than as a Cornhusker fan" ... A glorious graphical preview of Florida vs. Texas A&M ... "Altman says the victim was punched several times by his roommate after the victim said football was a stupid sport" ... And Purdue wins the weekend.

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