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A Thousand Points of Spite: Week 6 awards

Assorted bests and worsts from college football's weekend that was:

• Best Gameday surprise. This is a category that rolls deep every year, but we have yet to see much on television or in real life that tops the South Carolina mascot (the live one) being offered a glass of Steve Spurrier-branded wine. I mean:

We live in the greatest country on earth, and don't you ever forget it.

• Worst missed opportunity. Idaho beat New Mexico State at home Saturday, 26-18, belatedly realizing that if they'd just kept the game going for an infinite amount of overtimes, the WAC's disintegration could be indefinitely delayed.

• Best uniforms, Week 6.

The Falcons' stirring sartorial tribute to the ambiance of TRON and War Games was a bracing wakeup call for a 9:30 a.m. kickoff.

• Worst fashion trend. WVU faithful, let's talk a minute.

Embroidered little doodads on trousers are a classic fashion choice for tailgating gentlemen, but the Mountaineers have such a vivid collection of cultural icons that are not being fully embraced here. Why not try little coonskin hats, wee rifles, or tiny flaming couches next time?

• Grisliest omen. Boise State's equipment truck's encounter with some New Mexico wildlife en route to Hattiesburg boded ill for the Broncos' date with Southern Miss, but Chris Petersen rallied his band around the beloved trailer (probably) and BSU prevailed and then some, 40-14. The defining photo of the incident has since disappeared, but despair not: There's already a country song dedicated to the adventure.

• Best casual shade-throwing.

Mike Glennon, twisting the knife on Florida State while warmly complimenting his own teammates. Masterfully done.

• Most unjustly quashed social media presence. Cardale Jones is in college, y'all. We were once asked to leave a film class after saying another student's film, in which he pointed the camera directly at his own eyeball and filmed its blinks while watching the evening news, was not, in fact, "a profound meditation on the futility of the human condition." Some school is stupid; "we ain't come to play SCHOOL" is a prize zinger for the ages, and we're probably never going to hear a peep from Cardale Jones again. Sad. 

• Highlight play of the week. Florida's Matt Elam, who is not the first Gator you will see making a big hit in this clip, but the second. Wait for it:

• Lowlight play of the week. Hailed by Chris Brown as the "Least athletic series of events I may have ever seen," Matt McGloin's touchdown ... dive? ... against Northwestern was a thing of wonder. Hey, at least he scored. It counts! No matter what!

• Postgame celebration of the week. No love for the Scheelhaase, B?

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