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Saturday Superlatives: Rivalry games for locavores

Michigan State's Mark Dantonio can get WAY grouchier than this. You'll see. (AP)

Your oddly specific Saturday viewing guide. For more football-centric preview content, check out Andy Staples' Walkthrough.

• Most locally sourced farm-to-fan football. In-state rivalries abound in Week 8, for those of you keeping vigilant watches on your carbon footprints. Saturday's sustainably-grown grudge matches include No. 22 Stanford at Cal (3 p.m. ET), Michigan State at No. 23 Michigan (3:30 p.m.) and No. 12 Florida State at Miami (8 p.m.).

• Worst idea for a noon kickoff in recorded human history. Or maybe "best idea in terms of public safety," but we're still calling an 11 a.m. CT kickoff for LSU at Texas A&M the worst kind of cowardice. Who wants to live forever?

• Saddest ball of football sadness. Army (1-5) at Eastern Michigan (0-6), the latter of which we really did call "the country's best winless team" on the Mandel Initiative podcast earlier this week. We meant every word of that. (HONORABLE MENTIONS: Boston College, already with a loss to this Army team, has to play a Georgia Tech team that's already lost to Middle Tennessee State; and FAU-South Alabama, which will play in the One Of You is Getting Off The Floor Of The Sun Belt Whether You Want To Or Not Classic.)

• Hmmm. Not sure quite what to make of No. 21 Cincinnati at Toledo. Just pointing out that it is a thing that is going to happen, and it seems like one of those games where you should keep half an eye on the box score, just in case.

• Most highly concentrated "GOD IS ON OUR SIDE!" chants. BYU at No. 5 Notre Dame. Still feels pretty weird to type that.

• Spittiest coaches. Like your skippers emotive? You'll love No. 9 South Carolina at No. 3 Florida. Way more than will either Steve Spurrier or Will Muschamp. Stay tuned for the third quarter when they'll just scurry to midfield and batter each other with headsets.

DUKE BOWL ELIGIBILITY WATCH. It could happen, and one more win will do it. The Blue Devils host UNC for a 7 p.m. kick.

• Undercard of high football and entertainment value. Louisiana-Monroe at Western Kentucky, 4:00 p.m., for sole control of the SBC. Hail to the Sun Belt/Sure is a fun belt/Ra! Ra! Ra!

• Pointiest potential pointsplosion. Either Colorado at No. 11 USC or Idaho at Louisiana Tech. We feel you, Bulldogs. We want to banish all memories of Shreveport in as violent a manner as possible, too.

• Best nightcap. Utah at No. 8 Oregon State (that also feels weird to type), 10:30 p.m.
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