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Saturday Superlatives: An (absentee) viewers' guide

Kansas State's Collin Klein is no stranger to reaching the end zone against Oklahoma State. (AP)

Assorted Week 10 football contests that you get to watch and we, for the most part, do not. Enjoy?

• Games we will miss the most while participating in a wedding ceremony taking place in a state that is very far away from any of these games: In descending order: Oregon-USC (7:00 p.m. ET), Alabama-LSU (8:00) and Oklahoma State-Kansas State (8:00). Let our plight serve as a dire warning: Friends don't let friends go to art school and go out into the world thinking it's socially acceptable to plan November weddings.

• Team of the week that Maryland will either beat or embarrass or both with its 19th-string quarterback: Is it terribly foolish of us to like the Terps' chances against Georgia Tech? We'll find out at 12:30 in College Park. Maryland's defense has been its strength this season, and Tech's doesn't seem particularly inclined to stop teams that do have quarterbacks, so ...

• Most Americanest football contest of Week 10: Air Force and Army run the next leg of the Commander-in-Chief's Trophy race at noon.

• Saddest event we still technically have to call a football contest: Auburn and New Mexico State, with a combined record of 2-14, meet on the Plains at 12:30.

• Most promising undercard matchup: Don't sleep on Tulsa at Arkansas, despite the 12:21 kickoff that'll make for a pre-noon game on local time. Shields will be shaken. Oaths will be broken. Barns will be burned.

• Locavore ball: For those of you liking your football farm-to-fan style and desirous of keeping your tourism dollars in-state, our sommelier recommends: Western Michigan at Central Michigan (1:00), Akron at Kent State (2:00), Texas at Texas Tech (3:30) and a mid-afternoon Louisiana fight in the form of Ragin' Cajuns-Warhawks (4:00).

• Pointiest potential pointsplosion: Sleeper pick! Arizona at UCLA at 10:30. Let's see what RichRod's war machine can do in a race against a Bruins squad that's quietly 6-2 and putting up more than 33 points per game.

• Grisliest potential blowout: Baylor's Nick Florence leads the nation in total offense, captains the nation's No. 3 overall offense and plays for a 3-4 team thanks in large part to the Bears' uproariously porous defense. His opponent this week is a Kansas team that's also no great threat on defense and can't score. Decided schematic advantage: Bears. Kickoff's at 3:30.

• Best nightcap: Several fine choices here, but we'll go with San Diego State at Boise State at 10:30 and see if we don't get a shakeup in the natural order of the Mountain West.

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