Not to be outdone by the Mountain West's nigh-bulletproof division announcement yesterday, Conference USA has divided its conference and named its component parts in such a way as to render it completely inaccessible to sassbuckets with keyboards. We did hold out some small hope, fueled by our intrepid producer Ben Glicksman, that C-USA would take a liking to the picturesque names the MWC doled out to its divisions, and gift us with the wonders of Conference USA Mountain and Conference USA West. No such luck:
"The 2013 Conference USA East Division will consist of East Carolina, FAU, FIU, Marshall, Middle Tennessee, Southern Miss and UAB. The West Division is made up of Louisiana Tech, North Texas, Rice, Tulane, Tulsa, UTEP and UTSA.
"Home and away football opponents for 2013 have been determined. Institutions will play eight Conference games using divisions. A single round-robin will be played within divisions with two cross division opponents. The Conference schedule is based on two seven team divisions, with institutions playing all (6) teams within the division and two of the teams in the other division, in a one-year rotation." The conference is divided in sensible geographic fashion, and named accordingly. We have nothing to add. Worst internet day ever.