“The NCAA is no longer worried about what is going on bagels. That is, until some football staff decides to set out lunch meats, pizza bagels or grill steaks and serve them to players on half a bagel.” — Bylaw Blog author John Infante, January 22
Here at Campus Union, we pride ourselves on performing regular acts of public service. Today’s project, dedicated to all those athletic programs out there suddenly freed from the shackles of dry bagels: Celebrating National Signing Day by showing your players just how much, in American dollars, you appreciate their joining the family.
Your incoming freshmen won't really feel like a teammate until they're dressed like a teammate. (Do not allow road testing of new sneakers before topping bagels.)
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This is never more true than when a blue-chip hotshot is considering a transfer due to overcrowding at the position.
And never is breakfast more important than when one is, say, 17 years old and blessed with freakish athleticism.
*Why, yes. Yes, this is still funny. This is the last one, promise. Probably?