By Zac Ellis
What we have to do now, is put everybody on the bus. Put 'em in the right seat. And let Coach T drive this bus.
It's the preseason, so it's time for polls, analysis and constant debate over which teams are poised to succeed and fail in the upcoming college football campaign. But there's more to it than that. It's time for team- and conference-specific hype videos, and boy oh boy, do some live up to expectations this year.
Below are grades for six recently released videos, starting with a masterpiece out of USF.
Get On The Bus With @CoachTaggart
USF coach Willie Taggart wants to extend an invitation to all of college football: Jump aboard the Bulls' bandwagon! But it's not the message that's so spectacular; it's the delivery. Taggart sits behind the steering wheel. The bus travels through a magical animation portal. The oversized heads of Jon Gruden, Dick Vitale and Joe Maddon join the ride. And the lyrics are, in a word, brilliant.
There may be some hope for the American Athletic Conference, after all.
(H/T SB Nation)
I Bleed Big Blue
This man is a Big Blue fan in the morning. He's a Big Blue fan today. That much is obvious, but more than that, it's commendable. He is not afraid to sit on his front step and sing about his Wildcats, his shimmery jacket draped over his shoulders, his thighs, knees and shins glimmering in the sunlight. The only reason this video misses an A grade is the questionable fades between each shot, something he almost compensates for with his dramatic conclusion. Why is this man not signing the national anthem at every Kentucky home game? Your move, coach Stoops.
The Butch Jones Song
NOPE. Just no. I can't grade this video because I can't even get through it. This Tennessee fan brings viewer discomfort to a new level. Most upsetting are the editing and voice-over techniques, which prove he put actual effort into making this clip. One area of respect, though: His elegant trolling of Alabama fans.
Light 'Em Up!
This one is for anyone overlooking the energy and excitement surrounding Northern Colorado heading into this fall. The same team that beat Colorado Mesa 40-3 and Idaho State 52-14 in 2012? Well, gloss over it at your own peril. This video only loses points because A) the song sounds like it's from a Panic! at the Disco wannabe and B) we had to look up the Northern Colorado mascot. #GoBears
Non-rooting for Notre Dame
As this Michigan fan proves, trolling isn't complicated. In fact, it only takes 36 seconds of total nothingness to send a crystal-clear message about Notre Dame. The simplicity makes it. This guy didn't waste time with music, Photoshop or any other nonsense -- all he needed was a shake of the head (and a tremendous mustache). Stop by again for some more "non."
Cal Athletics: Switch
Grade: D This video makes the dangerous assumption that we'd rather watch Cal football than actual bears. That may not be the case. Remember, real bears didn't lose nine games in 2012. Real bears also probably return more than three starters on offense. We were disappointed when the camera switched from our furry friend to a Cal receiver. That's not a good thing.