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Friday's P.M. Hot Clicks

It Talks

Anthony Davis Anthony Davis :: David Liam Kyle/Getty Images

It's only fitting that the man who led his team to a national title last year makes some news this year. Former Kentucky Wildcat and current New Orleans Hornets forward Anthony Davis stars in a new commercial. Actually, it's his unibrow that stars in the spot.

Crossing The Line

Former Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson hosts a radio show in Houston. Earlier today, he criticized the looks of Vince Wilfork's wife. (The pair were teammates in New England.) Naturally, Wilfork did not take this well. At all.

Wrapping Up The Week

Guyism.com has compiled the best memes, screencaps and GIFs of the week.

Lovely Lady Of The Day

Model Elizabeth Velasquez gets today's LLOD honors.

Elizabeth Velasquez Elizabeth Velasquez :: Courtesy Hassan at Facet Studio

Quoting A Classic

An NHL coach quoted that '90s lyrical masterpiece Tubthumping after a win last night.

Ballinger Time

Former Purdue long-snapper Kevin Ballinger, who has written about his days as a Boilermaker and his dodgeball league, is back to talk about the NCAA tournament.

News flash: The month is March, hence the Madness sweeping across the country. Growing up in Indiana, I have been a Big Ten fan my entire life. The B1G catered perfectly to the lifestyle I was accustomed to: tough farm boys battling it out on the boards. Well, my friends were tough farm boys; I grew up in town. However, I would visit when my parents would allow. This year’s tournament is setting up to be -- and hear me out here -- an all-Big Ten Final Four. For the sake of this post, we are going to imagine that will happen and I am going to drop a knowledge bomb on all you nerds concerning who will win out and why.

Out of the South Region, we have Michigan. Michigan has the Big House, and the Big House is pretty cool. I’ve watched games at Michigan my entire life and dreamed about running out of the tunnel, but when I finally did, it was one of the biggest disappointments of my life. You get up to about a half gallop and you’re already on your sideline. I would equate running out of the tunnel at the Big House to seeing the "Nudity" warning before watching your favorite HBO show and it turns out to just be a hairy man-butt. However, the Wolverines' pregame flyover was literally a man flying with a jetpack. Hands down the coolest thing I have ever seen.

From the East Region (I hate myself for saying this), Indiana makes it all the way to the Final Four. I will be the first to admit, IU has some very good-looking girls. However, the university also has what's known as banners. Yeah, OK, I get it. You’ve won five national championships. Cool. But it is hard for me to hear that argument from fans who were not alive when the last banner was hung. Nobody on the current team was even thought up in 1987. The one good thing IU has going for it is one Robert Montgomery Knight and this speech. Also, President Obama picked IU to win and I cannot side with him because I live in Texas and I cannot afford someone throwing a brick through my window.

Michigan beats IU. Because I hate IU basketball/Notre Dame football fans and that flyover was unbelievable.

Ohio State will represent the West Region in the Final Four. A lot of people hate the Buckeyes. Their fans travel very well and have the ability to take over away stadiums. It is impressive to watch/depressing to see it happen to your own stadium. I have nothing against them. My team was undefeated against the Buckeyes in football when I started. That game during my senior year was a ton of fun; we won in OT, fans rushed the field and I had cornrows and a mustache.

ballinger-cornrows

Finally, the Midwest Region will be Michigan State. I have been a quasi-MSU fan since 1998, when my oldest brother was a freshman on Tom Izzo’s varsity squad. Being the student of the game that I am, I also noticed that Sparty’s cheer squad and dance team have always boasted gorgeous girls year in and year out. Also, on an unrelated note, I am for any team that has had a coach with the name Jud.

Based on Izzo’s dominance, and the fact that Jason Richardson had the greatest dunk of all time in the NBA dunk contest, Michigan State wins.

National Championship: Michigan vs. Michigan State

Normally I would award the winner to the team that provided the best postgame meal after we played, but Purdue did not play MSU my senior year. So we have to go to the ultimate tiebreaker: famous alumni whom I care about. James Earl Jones graduated from Michigan in 1955, and he was the voice of Darth Vader/owner of The Beast. However, Tom Bodett attended Michigan State, and even though he may not have graduated, he is the voice of Motel 6.

In my totally unbiased opinion, Michigan State wins.

It should also be noted that I am a diehard Purdue fan and I have the Boilermakers winning in every CBI bracket I filled out.

Live Video Of The Day

Is this an FCC violation?

Spoof Video Of The Day

What if the Fresh Prince of Bel Air were about a dog?

The Weekend Playlist

Click any of the song links to listen, or you can just subscribe to the Hot Clicks Nation playlist on Spotify. Every Friday the playlist will automatically change to that week’s selections, so the new music will come to you. Let me (Tom Mantzouranis) know on Twitter what you like and do not. (Warning: NSFW language in some songs.)

The Clash, "Spanish Bombs"

Unknown Mortal Orchestra, "So Good At Being In Trouble"

JJ, "Intermezzo"

Solange, "Lovers In The Parking Lot"

Madvillain, "Raid"

Kleerup ft. Lykke Li, "Until We Bleed"

Blu, "Untitled(LovedU)2"

Beirut, "My Night With The Prostitute From Marseille"

Sharon Van Etten, "Serpents"

Wilco, "Heavy Metal Drummer"

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