Your family will be there tomorrow. These games will not. (All Times Eastern)
NHL Stanley Cup Finals, Game 5: Boston Bruins vs. Chicago Blackhawks, 8:00p.m. (NBC & NBC Sports Live Extra)
Games 2 and 3 had pundits asking how anyone could ever score on the Bruins; then Chicago lit their vaunted defense up for six goals in yet another overtime thriller. Expect to hear the word "pivotal" a lot in this one.
In other news, Chicago city officials have announced plans to open up Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford's glove side to reduce downtown traffic during rush hour.
Oh, also, there's this GIF of Bruins coach Claude Julien turning into Dale from King of The Hill.
Boxing WBA Welterweight World Championship: Paulie Malignaggi vs. Adrien Broner, Saturday 9:00p.m. (Showtime)
Malignaggi may be the champ, but he's an 11-to-1 underdog against the undefeated Broner. These are two of the mouthiest men in all of boxing. Of his opponent, the champ said, "They put everything that's wrong with boxing in one room, did everything that's wrong with boxing in that room, and gave birth to Adrien Broner.'' Not to be out-smacked, Broner countered: "Let Paulie talk. At the end of the day I'm knocking him out.'' Watch this exchange, and then beg for the chance to see these guys get punched in the head.
Track and Field US Outdoor Championships, Coverage starts at 5:00p.m. on Saturday, and at 4:00p.m. on Sunday. (NBC, NBC Sports & NBC Sports Live Extra)
With the 100m finishing on Friday, the two biggest remaining names in the field represent the extremes of age in the sport. Bernard Lagat, is still setting records at 39-years-old. Mary Cain on the other hand, reminded me that she is just 17 when I spoke to her in February by comparing herself to Harry Potter. generation: Harry Potter. “When Hagrid comes in he’s just like, ‘No you’re special’ and he’s like ‘No I’m just Harry’ and guess in a way I kind of feel like that,” she said.
Soccer Confederations Cup Group Play, 2:30 Saturday and Sunday (ESPN & ESPN2)
A pair of teams from each of the two groups will move on to the semifinals. Italy and Brazil are already advancing, but don't expect them to loaf. A win means ducking Spain for at least one more game. The other group is much more interesting—Nigeria has to upset Spain and hope that Uruguay beats poor punching bag Tahiti by fewer than 5 goals. These games happen at the same time, so expect a lot of scoreboard watching from the Africans and South Americans.
MLS Philadelphia Union vs. New York Red Bulls 5:00p.m. Sunday (ESPN)
The Red Bulls will be without one of their international superstars when they face Philly's side in the MLS match of the week. Australia's Tim Cahill, who is the second-leading scorer on the Bulls, sustained himself a nice little injury while helping the Aussies earn a World Cup berth. Beloved Frenchman Thierry Henry will have to add a few extra goals to his team-leading total of six if New York wants to hold off the team that's right below them in the Eastern Conference standings.
Cricket ICC Championship Trophy Final: England vs. India 5:00a.m. (ESPN3)
England looks to win their first-ever one day cricket title on their home turf. India, meanwhile, has looked unbeatable throughout the tournament—and, really, throughout history. They've owned England so thoroughly that the last time the English beat India in anything was the Carnactic Wars.
Golf Travelers Championship, 3:00p.m. Saturday and Sunday (CBS)
Remember when Bubba Watson hit that incredible shot out of the trees at Augusta and was going to be the new face of golf?
Well, he hasn't won a tournament since. Bubba's a guy everyone can root for, and may even have a higher power on his side: He was aided by heavy winds that picked up late Friday afternoon, spoiling the chance of anyone trying to knock him from the top of the leaderboard.
MLB Texas Rangers vs. St. Louis Cardinals, 7:15p.m. Saturday (Fox-Regional, MLB.tv) and 8:00p.m. Sunday (ESPN)
The final two games of this 2011 World Series rematch get the national broadcast treatment. The Cardinals' Adam Wainwright has been a stud all year, leading all pitchers in WAR. So yeah, Edwin Starr, WAR is good for something.
Other 2013 Crossfit Games, 2:30p.m. Saturday, 1:00p.m Sunday (ESPN2)
You know that gym/cult your super-shredded brother-in-law won't stop talking about? Well, Crossfit also has its own championship. Events like the Clean Ladder and Medicine Ball-Handstand Pushup fit right in that sweet spot between bizarre curiosity and holy-crap athleticism that could potentially turn these events into the World's Strongest Man for a new generation.
Here are highlights from last year's competition.
Ok, I'm off to play cornhole. Questions, Suggestions, Grievances? Send them to SI.TheLineup@gmail.com