Mike Bebernes
Thursday August 8th, 2013


Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)

For those making protests signs, I'm willing to let you use the phrase "Crime Warner" for only a small licensing fee. (All times Eastern)


NFL Preseason Football: Cincinnati Bengels vs. Atlanta Falcons, 8:00p.m. (ESPN)

The Bachelorette spent four hours on its finale and still couldn't muster the emotional resonance that Hard Knocks generated in four minutes of local kid Larry Black weeping on the phone with his mother after injuring his ankle in training camp. While Black waits to learn his fate, the Bengals will be out to win one for the ... Larrer? (Relevant video starts at 2:40)


Golf PGA Championship, 1:00p.m. (TNT & PGA.com)

The CBS vs. Time Warner staredown may prevent millions of viewers from watching the final rounds of this tournament. Best to catch Tiger's last chance at a major this year in the early going.

Baseball USSSA Gold Medal Games: Under 18 Championship Game, 12:00p.m.(ESPN3)

Team USA has a hefty task ahead of it, facing a Puerto Rican team that is 10-0 in this tournament. Based on prior history, it's not unfathomable that there's some birth certificate bingo going on.

Canadian Football League Toronto Argonauts vs. Montreal Alouettes, 7:30p.m. (ESPN3)

Tonight's match is a home game for Montreal, but I want to use this opportunity to make y'all aware of one of the cooler road traditions in sports: the Train De Partisans, or Fan Train. For one away game—in this case, on 5 septembre (that's French for "September 5th")—the Alouettes offer a chance for about 300 fans to travel to the game with the team in a car reserved just for them. Does this have anything to do with tonight's game? No. But train tickets are going fast, probably.


Tennis Rogers Cup: Men's and Women's Round of 16, 12:00p.m (ESPN2 & ESPN3)

The early rounds of a tennis tournament can be a bit of a grind as you wait for the big names to get matched up. Here is a great list of tennis player eccentricities (including a player sniffing new balls, obsessive grip changing, and Rafa's H20-OCD) to keep you engaged.

TV The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (Guest: Mark Cuban), 11:35p.m. & Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (Guest: Derek Jeter), 12:35a.m. (NBC)

NBC's late night slate offers a solid block of sports banter. First, Mark Cuban, fresh of his drunken-confession-style blog rant, heads to Leno. Then, if you can endure a Gavin DeGraw performance, you'll get to see Derek Jeter dodge questions about A-Rod and his string of injuries on Fallon.

Deep Bench

TV Hollywood Game Night, 10:00p.m. (NBC)

George Costanza with hair plugs, Maria Carey's husband, the guy studios cast when Zach Galifianakis says no, and a formerly-fat weatherman all compete against regular people is a bunch of zany party games. It's like having a living room IN YOUR LIVING ROOM!

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