As the years pass by, some people's fear of never experiencing true love increases exponentially. The sports equivalent of this anxiety is being a Browns fan with perpetually crushed hopes for a Super Bowl championship, or even a competent quarterback. Sure, there have been flings where hope ran high: Kelly Holcomb's brief flash of brilliance, that one random year Derek Anderson led the team to a 10-6 record (but still missed the playoffs), or, most recently, the fleeting reign of Hoyer the Destroyer. But it always ends in heartbreak.
After watching Brandon Weeden fling an astoundingly horrific interception en route to yet another sad loss this past week, one Browns fan felt it necessary to scrape the bottom of the barrel and seek true quarterback love on Craigslist:
While this job posting reeks of desperation, there were still a few caveats: "Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum."