Hiyoooo!!!! Weekend Hot Clicks writer Brett Smiley with you today. Follow me on Twitter and send tips or hate mail to basmiley [at] gmail [dot] com.
Back That Ice Up
Yesterday a Blackhawks Ice Girl was clearing some ice debris in front of a goal when someone skated by and forced her backside into the net and directly in front of the goalie cam. The resulting footage is below (GIF via 'Duk). I spent a minute wondering if the shot was staged when I realized -- it doesn't matter!
Laughter Cures All
Bengals punter Kevin Huber, who broke his jaw on a vicious hit by Steelers linebacker Terence Garvin, has at least has found the humor in it all: By "popular demand," Huber changed his Twitter avatar to an image of the brutal shot.
Six-Year-Old 49ers Fan to Overwhelm Seahawks With Biochemical Warfare
This trend of kids writing adorable letters to players or teams has apparently taken a grim turn with this latest note in which a youngster threatens the Seahawks. "A virus will come into your throat and give you the flu," the six-year-old wrote. It's mildly disturbing, although the kid may actually have planted the seed of a future SyFy movie starring Lindsay Lohan and Andrew Keegan.
Richard Deitsch has SI.com's 2013 Media Awards, starring "Person of the Year" Jay Bilas.
Lovely Lady Round-up
Brazilian model Lisalla Montenegro officially came off the market last weekend when she married Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson. She's got legs, knows how to use them, and you can see more of her in this Guyism gallery. ... The Roosevelts has 30 women "who will dominate 2014" ... COED put together the 24 sexiest Lauren Hanley Instagram photos ... Lastly, 20 attractive celebrities dressed like Santa, or Mrs. Santa because that just makes more sense.
That's Not a Basketball
Last night Isaiah Thomas reached his arm out after a play and accidentally caught a handful of female referee Lauren Holtkamp's breast.
#SeaofBlue (Hilariously) Polluted by Trolls
The Maple Leafs conducted a social media experiment, inviting fan Tweets on its homepage, and ended up with Simon and Garfunkel lyrics, a Hitler mention, and one user's description of his cats breath. They may want to moderate next time.
The Time a 440-lb Virgin Sent His 110-pound Lover to the ER
TLC has a new series coming “Sex Sent Me to the ER." It's a real thing, and I won't stand on a soapbox, because I would definitely watch this. Said the 440-pound, then-virgin: “My initial reaction was, ‘I killed her.' This is my first time. And Jen is dead.’”
Odds & Ends
The height mismatch between an 5' 8" Oregon Duck and U.C. Irvine's 7' 6" center makes for an absurd picture ... Here's what happened when ACC players attempted to draw their teams' mascots ... One such ACC team, Maryland, had its terrapin mascot catch fire but it survived and now has a cigar and Starbucks to aid its recovery ... Five-dollar Bill Murray ... Auburn's Tre Mason has new Tre Mason socks ... In other Mason news, he sent a Christmas gift to Jason Dufner's wife ... A drunken "Buddy the Elf" got caught speeding ... In other elf news, here's video of Elf Gronk playing wheelchair football and cheering up kids at a Boston hospital.
White Boy Water
Members of the UMass men's basketball discovered a magical elixir that helps you "find your inner white boy."
Bizarro Francesa Is Back
The Internet's greatest Mike Francesa impersonator has found a dead ringer for Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, who joins him for this WWII-era parody.
Birds Like Snowboarding, Too
I could watch a full hour of Planet Earth on snowboarding birds.