Wish there were a hotline to express your drunken displeasure after your favorite team loses? There is: It's called talk radio. But sometimes you can wait for hours trying to get on the air with the local sports host. If you just call 911 -- or your country's equivalent -- you can be ranting to a real human in no time:
A drunk Manchester United fan called 999 "demanding" to speak to Sir Alex Ferguson after the club's defeat.
Greater Manchester Police (GMP) were called at 22:30 GMT on Wednesday by a man from Crumpsall after the team lost to Sunderland in the Capital One Cup.
GMP said it "can be sad and depressing" when a football team loses a game but asked the public to "remember that 999 is to be used for emergencies only".
You can listen to the audio of the call and read the transcript here. By far the best part, though is this exchange:
Caller: Yeah a crime, yeah I’ll report a crime, yeah.
Police: And what crime is that?
Caller: The crime is that Manchester United. Manchester United were absolutely ... knackered.
Knackering in the first degree -- a most grievous offense over there.