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Monday's P.M. Hot Clicks

Brett Smiley of Weekend Hot Clicks here with you all week while Andy's on Swimsuit Issue duty, so buckle up for a lot of brunettes. Send sonnets and/or tips to basmiley [at] gmail [dot] com or hit me up on Twitter @brettsmiley.

Nightmare Bear Chokes Under Pressure  

It's been a rough few days for "Bely Mishka," the polar bear mascot for the Sochi Olympics. This past weekend, the so-called "Nightmare Bear" knocked its head against a car while trying to back into the passenger seat. The bear visited the Today Show set this morning (see gallery) where it got a chance to meet the SI Swimsuit Issue cover girls. It was an opportunity for redemption. All it had to do was one endearing thing. And yet:

The ladies waved. Nightmare Bear stood lifeless.

The ladies smiled. Nightmare Bear remained expressionless.

Just another sad chapter for the bear.

Profanity = Profit

Former Ohio State offensive lineman Marcus Hall is selling autographed photos of his two-bird salute to the Michigan faithful this past fall. For about $15 to $25, you too can celebrate the triumph of a player who got ejected but went out with his head and birds held high.

The Future Is Here

Nike is making the self-lacing "power laces" prototype that Marty McFly wore in Back to the Future II. They'll be out in 2015, so a line will begin forming somewhere in Manhattan this July.

Lovely Lady Round-up

Bregje Heinen :: Raphael Mazzucco/Si Bregje Heinen :: Raphael Mazzucco/SI

That's SI Swimsuit rookie Bregje Heinen above, one of the many lovely models who appears in the 2014 teaser video, which I can confidently say is greatest video you will see today ... Check out the 50 sexiest female athletes on Instagram ... Jaquie Ohh (appropriate for President's Day) is easy on the eyes ... And a closer look at Julianne Houghwho's now dating the Capitals' Brooks Laich.

Raccoon Scouts Yankee Spring Training

"Pineda looks promising, but his fastball is a little flat." -- Raccoon

The Time a Bobsledder Took a Bath In a Garbage Can

Canadian bobsledder Heather Moyse needed to take a muscle-soothing Epsom salt bath, but she had to improvise because this is Sochi and there's no tub in her hotel room.

His Airness Turns 51

The new father of twin girls gets the "best of" treatment every birthday because he was just that good. Check out MJ's top 51 plays in video, in GIF form, and in still photos.

Odds & Ends

The St. Louis biker shorts dude was up for the occasion ... Arizona State is hosting a "Condom Olympics" ...  Giants running back David Wilson wearing a rabbit head, singing a Beyonce song ... U.S. speed skater Brian Hansen is on a mission to find all 10 Blackhawks in Sochi ... If you had to guess which baseball team might use drones, it'd probably be the Washington Nationals, right? ... Jamaica bobsledders continue to entertain and fascinate, wear watermelon helmets ... Russians are protesting Saturdays' no-goal call ... Vernon Davis is the honorary captain of the U.S. curling teams ... Check out some cult movies in 8-bit GIF form.

Surfing Dog Makes Wish Come True for 15 Year-Old With Brain Cancer

Like Andy, I am very much a "dog person." This video is happy and sad but mostly happy and will make you go squeeze your own pooch tightly. [Uproxx]

Women's Hockey: U.S. Versus Canada for the Gold

The rivals didn't brawl in their preliminary game last week, but with hardware on the line, we might see some more of this.

Dog Crashes the Soccer Pitch

This morning it was a rooster running free, now it's a dog which manages to get a taste of the action. [Deadspin] At least it didn't leave a little something behind, like this dog.

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