A Power Ranking of 12 Unnecessarily Gas-Powered Objects

Author:
Samer Kalaf
Publish date:
Mar 28, 2014

The majority of mankind's technological advancements have been based on the question, "How do we make our situation better?" That motivation has led people to create such things as irrigation, airplanes, antibiotics, and 2048.

But sometimes, a different question is asked—for example, "How do I affix an engine to [a given object]?" That's a motivation that leads people nowhere, save for the literal ground they cover on their newly-motorized item.

That's the question we're focusing on today.

Putting an engine on something that never needed an engine is admirable, and stupid, and still admirable. Here's a ranking of the best efforts, based on execution, safety (or lack thereof) and excess—keeping in mind that excess is universally an abundant component.

12. Wheelbarrow

Not impressive in context of the rest of the list, but worth a mention.

11. Vacuum cleaner

If you've ever wished that a vacuum cleaner could be louder than it already is, you're in luck. Time to bring that simmering tension with your neighbors up to a boil.

10. Snowboard

So, this is what people in Montana do for leisure. An engine on a snowboard isn't that wild. It's a plausible thing you would see in cartoons. Snowboard isn't fast enough? Strap an engine to it.

The execution is fine, but it's lacking in the absurdity department. ESPN will probably make this an X Games event in three years.

9. Sofa

Not really that impressive (again, technical merits aside). Cool, you wasted a perfectly good sofa and chugged around on a local road. It doesn't make sense, in a bad way.

8. Blender

There were many gas-powered blenders to choose from (this one, which inexplicably disabled embedding, was a close second due to the clean, compact design and the dice on the levers ), but the excess of the outboard motor attached to this blender put it over the top. The juxtaposition of the giant motor and blender gives it points, but the limited usefulness of the invention hurts.

Regardless, this was clearly created by a guy who knows how to party. And work with engines.

7. Porta-Potties

What is even going on.

This is such a bad idea. It could tip over at any minute, so it gets points for potential catastrophe, but everything else is awful.

6. Garden shed

Flawless execution. Perfect escape vehicle. Incredibly unnecessary. Dangerous depending on how many sharp tools you keep in the shed.

5. Picnic table

There's no sane reason to strap an engine to a picnic table on wheels. Great work.

Check out that seating capacity, too. It's like the SUV of things that don't need engines.

4. Cooler

Pretty much an explicit endorsement for drinking and driving.

3. Stroller

Screw up your kid's hearing early while you eliminate all that pesky pushing!If you get tired, take a seat right next to your child and cruise!

The effort exerted to eliminate the concept of strolling is admirable. The most counter-productive of all the entries. Big points for the lack of necessity.

2. Shopping cart

There's no way this could be used in a supermarket without you being arrested, so it scores well in terms of being hazardous and useless. Grocery shopping would be significantly more entertaining. The shopping cart's rickety wheels will be the downfall of this creation, unfortunately.