Jon Stewart Reveals Phillie Phanatic's Sex Tape
The disturbing (or, arousing, depending on your tastes) image above emerged at the end an apology of sorts from The Daily Show's Jon Stewart, who tried to make amends with the Phillie Phanatic after an impassioned rant Tuesday night against the city and its beloved mascot. On Wednesday night, Stewart summarized his tirade, which stemmed from Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg's claim that he got sick from a Shake Shack at Citi Field, as follows:
"There is no need to rehash who called who a “f---ed up Jim Henson reject-looking piece of s--. The point is, it was said. Most likely by the on of us who doesn’t have a blow tickler in place of a functioning larynx."
Then after knocking his team's mascot, Mr. Met, ("Why an individual with that condition would take a job in a place where he is surrounded all day by bats? Seems like a recipe for trouble.”), Stewart expressed that he knows the Phanatic has had it tough since the dissemination of the Phanatic's Paris Hilton night vision-ish sex tape. You know, the one where he gets it on with Billy the Marlin while the Cardinals' Fredbird tickles himself in the corner. That one.
This finally answers the enduring question about whether National League mascots prefer members of the opposite league. They don't. Check out the entire segment.