The World Custard Pie Championships is Everything Great About Sports

Author:
Dan Treadway
Publish date:
Jun 4, 2014

Every year, the world's greatest pie throwers gather in England to participate in the World Custard Pie Championships. This year the event, which raises money for various charities, consisted of 14 teams who threw a combined 2000 pies while standing 8 feet away from their opponents. There is little doubt in my mind that custard pie throwing is truly the sport of kings, and here is why:

1. This guy:

League commissioners are often the most reviled figures in sports but I feel an unyielding urge to give this adorable British man a big ol' hug.

2. Teamwork: No one person is greater than the entire team when it comes to slinging custard pies. You go into this contest like Rambo and you're going to get a face full of custard faster than you can say "bippity boppity boo."

3. Uniforms: Here we have Team Pulp Fiction vs. Team 90s Britney, a match up that I didn't realize I needed to see until this very day.

4. Rucker Park-style announcers: "It's not Lancelot, it's score a lot." Boom. Nailed it.

5. It's a Sports of Champions: You think these guys woke up, put on their grandmother's dresses and just waltzed into this contest all willy nilly? Yeah? Well, you're probably right, but they got a cool trophy and look super gross and tired while accepting it. I mean, can you tell the difference between the two pictures below?