Celebrity First Pitches of 2014 Season
Vikings rookie quarterback Teddy Bridgewater threw out the first pitch before yesterday's Twins-Indians game. I'd make fun of him for his effort but he looked like Clayton Kershaw compared to the first pitch Biz Markie threw before the Athletics-Astros game. It seems like everyone -- from Chelsea Handler to Wayne Newton to the Girl Meets World cast -- is throwing out first pitches this year. One tennis player (Milos Raonic) even served a first pitch instead of throwing it. With the baseball season just past its midway point, here's a look at memorable first pitches of the 2014 season.
Stop Everything You're Doing
Brock Hekking, a senior defensive end at Nevada, showed up to Mountain West media day with the greatest '80s mullet since Jennifer Capriati at age 14.
The Los Angeles Kings. Now Ruining the Sex Life of Grandparents.
In one of the strangest stories of the year, a pair of grandparents are suing the LA Kings because a freak injury occurred at the team's Icetown sports center in Riverside, where the elderly couple was celebrating a granddaughter's birthday. A puck somehow zipped off the ice and into a nearby party room, where it struck the grandmother in the head and caused a slew of ailments, including nausea, headaches, memory loss, etc. But that's not the worst part. A week later, the woman was still dizzy from the incident and fell down a flight of stairs. According to the lawsuit, this whole ordeal has caused the grandfather to lose "enjoyment of sexual relations" with his wife, and for that he is suing the Stanley Cup champions.
Throwback Lovely Lady of the Day
Josh S. emailed to suggest I feature "the lady who electrified the '90s, Carmen Electra." Great request and one I should've done months ago. Good work.
Hot Clicks Giveaway: Homeschool Sex Machine
Homeschool Sex Machine may just be the greatest name of a book ever, so when the author (Matthew Pierce) emailed to see if I wanted to do a giveaway, I jumped at the chance. The book (as described by Amazon) allows you to "meet deranged Sunday School teachers, homeschool secret societies, youth pastors with frosted tips, and experience the high-pressure, sexually charged world of competitive Bible Quiz." The book is a kindle-only release and I'll send vouchers for a copy to the first five people who email (firstname.lastname@example.org) me the names of the Saints teammates sharing a bed at training camp. It was in this morning's Hot Clicks. Please make the subject line "Homeschool."
Update, 6:50 p.m.: Contest is closed. More giveaways to come.
One Time ... In Band Camp
Not sure if Ohio State marching band director Jonathan Waters has seen American Pie one too many times but he was fired from the school today amid an internal investigation that revealed a "sexualized" culture among band members.
And Now the Queen of England is Photobombing
I don't want to say this fad has jumped the shark, but when 88-year-old Queen Elizabeth II is photobombing, it may be time to move onto the next trend.
Odds & Ends
The Texas Longhorns media guide misspelled Texas ... Andy Samberg will star in 7 Days in Hell, a HBO mockumentary about professional tennis ... Fifteen other celebrities Joel Embiid should reach out to on Twitter ... The 21 funniest moments in Speedo history ... Nike now sells a baseball glove that comes broken in ... This man built a machine that can fill 100 water balloons in a minute ... A Los Angeles man hosted a Bill Murray ice cream social. And then Bill Murray made a surprise appearance.
History of the Touchdown Dance
Lions tight end Joseph Fauria demonstrates the history of the TD celebration.
The History of the Touchdown Dance, starring Joseph Fauria
Come along as Detroit Lions TE Joseph Fauria gives a guided tour through the history of the touchdown dance.
Pro Wrestlers Chip In To Help Cancer Patient
Led by Bill Goldberg, a bunch of wrestlers sent a birthday card to a 6-year-old fighting cancer. (H/T Uproxx)
Take a Ride on The Newest Record-Breaking Wooden Roller Coaster
This is Goliath, located at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Ill. Looks like fun. Sort of.
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