Former Boston Celtics player Brian Scalabrine has posted a hilarious parody of LeBron James "I'm Coming Home" essay to announce his return to Boston.
Scalabrine will be announcing Celtics games on CSN New England, but conveys it with all the drama of the LeBron free agency saga.
Remember when I spurned the Celtics and signed with the Chicago Bulls in 2010? Actually I begged Ainge to keep me and he wished me the best of luck. I was thinking, "This is really tough." I could feel it. I was leaving something I had spent five years creating. I haven’t paid for a meal since 2008.
The "White Mamba" also puts to rest any rumors about why he made his decision.
Also on Extra Mustard: Cavaliers fan gets Hanna tattoo of Kevin Love and LeBron James
I don’t want anyone thinking: He and Mark Jackson didn’t get along … The Bulls and Warriors couldn’t put the right team together … Does anyone really care what Brian Scalabrine is doing right now? None of these things were true. And for the record I never played for the Warriors, I was just a coach, didn’t people see me holding my clipboard
The whole thing is definitely worth a read, and you may want to give the original one more look as a primer to fully appreciate Scalabrine's level of detail.