The WWE Network is one of the greatest gifts offered to mankind, because while you totally can (and should) revisit classics like Wrestlemania X-7 or Starrcade ’88, you can also dig into really obscure stuff. Nobody, not even the WWE itself, can remember all the weird, forgotten angles that they've trampled over throughout the years. It’s an adventure in front of the TV every night.
So during one of our ritualistic Network scours, we found this 1985 gem of a glassy-eyed Terry Funk (in bedazzled cowboy hat as usual) taking a shot at none other than Sports Illustrated. Watch below, as Mr. Funk explains to Jesse “The Body” Ventura (aka The Real White Mamba,) that if Sports Illustrated doesn’t put him on the cover, he’s gonna fry us, and I quote, “with my fryer.”
This, of course, came a few weeks after we put Hulk Hogan on our cover. Man, the ‘80s were weird.
My favorite part is halfway through the promo, where Terry looks down like a man desperately trying to remember what he’s supposed to say next. It’s important to mention that Funk is actually still wrestling. Seriously, at the age of 70. I wonder if sometimes the last 50 years of his life feel like some weird dream.
SummerSlam rolls into Los Angeles this weekend. It’s headlined by legends like John Cena and Brock Lesnar, as well as sporadic appearances by Steve Austin, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Hogan himself in and around the panels. But we’ll never forget that ultimatum issued by Terry Funk, I’ll never be able to sleep without checking my closet for any malevolent fryers.