Tuesday September 2nd, 2014

Tony Hawk Pro Skater Soundtrack, Ranked
Tony Hawk Pro Skater just celebrated the 15th anniversary of its release, so Extra Mustard has decided to go back through its iconic soundtrack and list which songs were best to shred to.
Before we get started, it should be noted that the game's two-minute skate sessions and free-form gameplay must have had some magical quality that made ska much more listenable, because some of these tracks are pretty rough without the added sounds of bonus chimes and failed half-pipe tricks.
  • 10
     
    10"Vilified" by Even Rude
     

    This song is awful. Even adjusting for the general awfulness of the rap-rock genre as a whole, this is a poor showing. Even Rude earns an instant restart when you begin a run and discover this will be your musical accompaniment for the next two minutes.

  • 9
     
    9"Here & Now" by The Ernies
     

    Have you ever wondered what a collaboration between 311 and Sammy Haggar-era Van Halen would sound like? Of course not, but if you did this song would be the answer you got.

  • 8
     
    8"Euro-Barge" by The Vandals
     

    This is a weirdly xenophobic song about Europeans failing to give the singer the proper amount of personal space. While that would certainly be bothersome, it is a very specific topic for a song.

  • 7
     
    7"New Girl" by Suicide Machines
     

    This song is not great, but it is a shining example of the Tony Hawk soundtrack's general style. It is also almost exactly two minutes long, which make it the perfect length to snag S-K-A-T-E, throw up a Pro Score, and maybe clear the fountain gap.

  • 6
     
    6"Superman" by Goldfinger
     

    This is the type of snappy pop punk that made it easy to accidentally play THPS for three hours instead of studying for a history test. Why learn about Seward's folly when you can spend your whole afternoon trying to 5-0 grind all the way around a warehouse quarterpipe.

  • 5
     
    5"Screamer (Nothing to me)" by Speedealer
     

    Did you know Speedealer was originally know as REO Speedealer until they were sued by REO Speedwagon? Well, they were, and it is a shame they didn't stick with that name because it is way better than just Speedealer.

  • 4
     
    4"Committed" by Unsane
     

    This is the first song on the soundtrack that stands up without a hearty dose of nostalgia, mainly because it is just a bunch of noise, which is perfect for zoning out during a particularly late night at the virtual skate park.

  • 3
     
    3 "Police Truck" by The Dead Kennedys
     

    How could you have a skateboarding game without a song mocking skaters' eternal enemies, police officers? And who better to deliver it than California's finest anti-authoritarians, The Dead Kennedys?

  • 2
     
    2"Jerry Was A Race Car Driver" by Primus
     

    I would sometimes just restart runs over and over until I heard this song's unmistakable intro riff. "Jerry Was A Race Car Driver" guarantees a 25% increase in total score for that run.

  • 1
     
    1"Cyco Vision" by Suicidal Tendencies
     

    Suicidal Tendencies perfectly encapsulates the game's frenetic, crash-and-get-up-and-crash-again pace. It also rocks harder than any other song on the soundtrack, which is what really matters most.
     
     

Be sure to come back next year to see what the top track of our Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 rankings is. (Spoiler alert: It's "Bring the Noise" by Anthrax and Public Enemy.)

- Brendan Maloy

 

SI Apps
We've Got Apps Too
Get expert analysis, unrivaled access, and the award-winning storytelling only SI can provide - from Peter King, Tom Verducci, Lee Jenkins, Seth Davis, and more - delivered straight to you, along with up-to-the-minute news and live scores.