Friday September 19th, 2014

Ah, stock photos. The highest form of art. Professional stock photographers must study for years to learn to showcase situations that are at once extremely general and weirdly specific. Let's take a moment to appreciate their work with these 12 pictures of stock photo models playing sports wrong.

1. The fastest man in this photo


You win 100% of the races you compete in by yourself.

2. Non-regulation attire


Still beats those sleeved NBA jerseys...

3. Athletes have to fuel their bodies


Do you even hydrate, bro?

4. Red Dead Swimming Redemption


Looks like the Kool-Aid Man has been working out.

5. Is this... NSFW?


Not really sure if this is supposed to be a wrestler or a character from American Horror Story.

6. Introducing a new sport: Office Ball!


An offspring of the magic ball in Space Jam, this ball steals your ability to control your hair.

7. This is why the WNBA gets no respect.


Trish when we told you to play physical basketball, this isn't what we meant.

8. Taking "get your head in the game" a little too seriously


Oh, yeesh. Should I call someone? Should I call an ambulance? What do I do in this situation?

9. Who wears short-shorts?


Presenting: The guy absolutely NOBODY wants to cover man-to-man in any pickup game.

10. We've updated the rules to Office Ball


The first rule of Office Ball is apparently carrying your helmet instead of using it to protect your head.

11. Putting in hours at the gym


What's that face for, lady?! Don't you know milk makes the body strong?

Also, what's it like to find out that this is the modeling gig you booked?  "Hey Carl, congratulations! You got the modeling job! You're going to be a man so disgusting that he makes nearby women cringe! Wait why are you crying?"

12. No jokes here. This is just awesome.


Unfortunately, that uniform isn't Olympic regulation, so this kid is just another stock photo model playing sports wrong.

Pete Blackburn is a writer for Next Impulse Sports

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