Who would win the World Series if it weren't based on baseball?
The Kansas City Royals are slight favorites to defeat the San Francisco Giants in the 2014 World Series, but what if those odds weren’t derived from on-the-field talent but instead a diverse collection of random opinions, facts, characteristics and idiosyncrasies?
Here's who we believe would emerge victorious between the Royals and Giants based upon those various off-the-field items:
Fans who hate their manager more (despite him bringing the first postseason berth since 1985)
While Ned Yost has made some questionable managerial decisions over the last six-plus months, the guy helped bring playoff baseball back to Kansas City for the first time since its 1985 World Series crown. The former MLB catcher and Brewers manager did what…deep breath….Mike Ferraro, Billy Gardner, John Wathan, Bob Schaefer, Hal McRae, Bob Boone, Tony Muser, John Mizerock, Tony Pena, Buddy Bell and Trey Hillman…could not between 1986 and 2010.
However, a heavy majority of Royals fans still despise Yost and believe they have plowed through the first three phases of the 2014 postseason despite him. Maybe another tidy sweep will begin to change their feelings.
The Royals are very comfortable with their scent...maybe because they’re packing heat. Shortstop Alcides Escobar wears a Victoria’s Secret fragrance and catcher Salvador Perez wears Carolina Herrera’s 212 during all games. Apparently Escobar tossed on some perfume earlier this season and recorded a few hits, so he decided to stick with what worked. Perez asked his teammate what spurred the offensive surge, and his Carolina Herrera aroma has since received compliments from home plate umpires and even the occasional opponent.
Stolen base celebrations
Royals speedster Jerrod Dyson had his mug plastered across the Internet during his team’s dramatic win over the Athletics in the AL Wild Card game. The base-stealing machine swiped third base with one out in the ninth and proceeded to rev it up with the above beauty of a celebration.
Best Movie set in the city
Kansas City almost took this one with the movie Looper, but you really can't beat The Room if we're talking about gratuitous B-Roll footage of the city the movie is set in.
Largest metro population
It felt like a good time to give the San Francisco Bay Area (7-plus million) an easy win over Kansas City (2-plus million). This is the kind of thing that matters when you're fighting a war of attrition, but maybe not so much when you're playing baseball.
Best beer-chugging starting pitcher
Giants ace Madison Bumgarner has a 1.72 ERA over 31 2/3 innings this postseason and is one of the betting favorites for World Series MVP if his team captures its third title in five seasons. While Bumgarner’s on-field dominance initially attracted headlines, the 25-year-old southpaw is also an overachiever off-the-field. He has gained a notorious reputation for chugging a mountain of adult beverages during locker-room celebrations.
Andrew Doughty is a writer for Next Impulse Sports