Saturday December 20th, 2014

If there were a sports-wide audition to play in a community theater production of A Christmas Carol, here's who would best nail each role.


Ebenezer Scrooge: Bill Belichick

NBC, Christian Petersen | Getty

Sure, Scrooge may actually turn over a new leaf at the end of A Christmas Carol but the hallmark of any good Scrooge is his ability to convey complete and utter disdain for those around him. Think of Bill Belichick when he has to give a press conference after a loss. I wouldn't be surprised if Belichick muttered "humbug" to a reporter, either. It just works.


Jacob Marley: Eric Mangini

NBC & Diamond Images | Getty

Jacob Marley was Scrooge's business partner who died, only to return to expose Scrooge's true nature to himself. Eric Mangini was one of Belichick's assistant coaches and helped blow the whistle on Belichick's cheating incident against the Jets.


Tiny Tim: Stephen Curry

Jack Arent & GraphicaArts | Getty

Tiny Tim is defined by two qualities. First, there's his positive personality. Second, there's the fact that he's sick. In the sports-world, a good comparison would be a player who suffered chronic injuries but who never let that negatively affect his outlook on life. Curry's early career was defined by ankle injuries but he's (hopefully) put those issues behind him as he's now one of the NBA's brightest young stars. Also, as far as Tiny Tim goes, it helps that Curry still looks so very young.

Honorable Mention: Derrick Rose, but we thought that was too mean.


Bob Crachit: Pete Carroll

Time Life Pictures & Peter G. Aiken | Getty

The father of Tiny Tim, Bob Crachit is portrayed as a loving and understanding man as he even goes out of his way to defend Scrooge, even though Scrooge treats him quite poorly. The obvious choice to play someone who never has anything bad to say about anyone is Pete Carroll, who brought his "rah-rah" college spirit to Seattle with remarkable success.


Ghost of Christmas Past: Bill Russell

NBC & Ray Amati | Getty

The Ghost of Christmas Past is the hardest role to cast because it is described as "it" in Dickens' novella. It wears white robes and is of an unknowable age. Its main function is to guide Scrooge so that he can see how much he has changed since his younger years. Since the role is an "ambassador" of sorts, Bill Russell seems like a great fit.


Ghost of Christmas Present: David Ortiz

Jim Rogash, Christian Petersen, NBC | Getty

The Ghost of Christmas Present is described as a cheerful giant who carries a torch and a scabbard with no sword in it. A merry giant who represents goodwill towards man? Big Papi.


Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Gregg Popovich

Rocky Widner | Getty

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come doesn't speak and wears a giant black robe. Yet it is the most chilling and intimidating figure in A Christmas Carol. Basically, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come IS Gregg Popovich during an in-game interview. Throw a black robe on him and you have one convincing Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.


Ryan Wong is a writer for Next Impulse Sports


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