Luke Winkie
Friday February 27th, 2015

On Wednesday night, an ancient Kevin Garnett made his much-heralded return to the Minnesota Timberwolves. As a fan of neglected NBA franchises, dominant frontcourt players, and poetry, this was pretty great. I love Kevin Garnett, he’s one of my favorite players in basketball history, and watching him bookend his career is everything that makes sports great.

It doesn’t matter that he’s averaging six points a game. The Big Ticket is already screaming at Pekovic to get back on defense. Have you seen Nikola Pekovic? That is a guy you’d never scream at… unless you’re Kevin Garnett.

I think that’s why Flip Saunders pulled the trigger to get him back to Minnesota. Yes, he’s got the legacy factor, but we’re also talking about a dude who’s earned plenty of respect through fear over the last two decades. Want to get a team of millennials into shape? A guy like Garnett is a great start. In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve collected a handful of videos that demonstrate just how real KG is willing to get. Watch and learn, Andrew Wiggins.

God, That KG/Joakim Feud Was So Hot

To be fair, if I received a below-the-belt elbow from Kevin Garnett, I’d probably be dead right now. Either that or I’d get the bruise tattooed. The best part is that years later, after Joakim became a better center than the older, slower, Garnett, KG was still doing things like trying to bite his arm off.

The Hero We Deserve

Why is it that whenever anyone picks a fight with Dwight Howard, they immediately seem like paragons of justice? KG throwing that basketball at Howard’s head is seriously the most altruistic thing he could ever do for basketball fans.

KG Dresses Down Craig Sager

This is my personal pick for “greatest Garnett moment of all time." We all love Craig Sager, he’s a legit icon in an industry of pretenders, but I think we’ll remember KG dressing him down more than any locker room interview he’s ever done. “YOU TAKE THIS HOME AND YOU BURN IT. DON’T ASK NO QUESTIONS. THE RED SOCKS THAT PEOPLE CAN’T SEE AT HOME. BURN IT.” Kevin Garnett is not a big fan of pink, which is the least surprising thing in basketball history.

Okay, One More Sager/KG Clip

Seriously, how much are we going to miss watching KG do post-game interviews? Was there anyone better at that than him?

I Still Don’t Know How Matt Bonner Survived This

I love Matt Bonner because he gives people like me hope. However if I was Matt Bonner, the literal last thing I would ever do would be angering Kevin Garnett.

Kevin Garnett Listens To Rap Music The Same Way We Listen To Rap Music

Warning: Video contains explicit language

Does it make me sad that I never was talented or dedicated enough athletically to bask in an NBA victory with my teammates through the infinite bonding power of Rick Ross remixes? Well yes. How’d you know?

The Day Garnett Solidified The Worst Nickname In The Universe

In the above video Kevin Garnett yelled at Glen Davis so hard he actually made him cry. Glen Davis now plays for the Clippers, and my dad, who is not particularly a huge basketball fan, exclusively knows him as “Big Baby.” That is his name now. Kevin Garnett forever christened a grown man “Big Baby.”

Kevin Garnett is awesome.

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