Wednesday September 16th, 2015

The real Thursday Night Football kicks off this week.

Week 1’s Thursday night game doesn’t count. That’s a special production, an actual event to kickoff the NFL season and honor the previous season’s Super Bowl champion.

The real Thursday night football, which starts with the Denver Broncos taking on the Kansas City Chiefs, is a blatant money grab we shovel into our mouths because we’re slaves to the man. So in honor of the often terrible, injury-ridden games, Extra Mustard proudly presents our Thursday Night Football drinking game, sure to keep things interesting.

Responsibly sip your drink when

  • Alex Smith is described as a game manager
  • Andy Reid blatantly mismanages the clock
  • There’s a mention of Chiefs receivers not having caught a touchdown pass
  • Peyton Manning throws a wobbly pass to the sideline
  • There’s a mention of Peyton Manning’s neck surgery/pain
  • A sideline reporter tells us the decibel level

Refill your drink when

  • Peyton Manning runs a very labored bootleg
  • Phil Simms mentions Alex Smith was a No. 1 pick
  • Andy Reid and “ribs” are mentioned in the same sentence
  • You’re shown B-roll of Gary Kubiak playing in Denver
  • There’s a mention of Gary Kubiak’s offensive system 
  • De’Anthony Thomas makes your jaw drop
  • John Elway and Peyton Manning are mentioned in the same sentence
  • You’re reminded of the Chiefs’ special place in NFL history

Donate a dollar to the American Cancer Society when

  • Eric Berry makes a tackle

Responsibly finish your drink when

  • A Chiefs receiver catches a touchdown pass
  • Travis Kelce starts a new dance craze

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