Kristaps Porzingis is learning perhaps the most important NBA skill of all: talking smack.
In a video with Vice Sports, Porzingis detailed his affinity for the ancient art and his curiosity and desire to improve his skills, so that, you know, next time he drops 29 and 11 against the Hornets he can make fun of Spencer Hawes for having a man bun, or insist to Aaron Harrison that his father loves Andrew more, or tell Kemba Walker he’s short, or tell Michael Jordan he looks beautiful when he cries.
Does Kristaps actually trash talk?
“No, but I’m learning, a little bit,” he says toward the end of the clip. “I think it’s harder for Europeans to learn how to trash talk, you know, but hopefully I can level up that skill too.”
The solution to accelerating this process? Just let him spend a few hours on a street corner in Queens, or something. We know he watches Worldstar already.
“You gotta go more into details, you know, because you can just call somebody some names, that’s not fun,” Porzingis continues. “You really gotta know something about him, you know, so you can get into his head. There’s different ways to do it, one, you can be an a—hole on the court...[or] you can be a little more intelligent, you know, try to get some painful spots in that guy’s personal life. That’s the way I look at it.”
Good on you, Kristaps. Just don’t ask Carmelo about Kevin Garnett.
- Jeremy Woo