In honor of SI’s Social 100, here are some accounts that don’t exist but we would love to see in the near future.
Bill Belichick on Snapchat
There has to be some personality beneath The Hoodie’s icy demeanor, right? We’ve seen glimpses of humanity from him before, so is it too much to ask him to send some goofy selfies?
Isiah Thomas on LinkedIn
Isiah Thomas could probably craft a pretty good résumé.
- Hall of Fame basketball player
- Back-to-back NBA champion
- 12-time All-Star
- Leading scorer in Pistons franchise history
- National champion at Indiana University
But he’s also had more than his fair share of lowlights.
- Indicted in sexual harassment suit
- Compiled a 56–108 as coach of the Knicks
- Signed Jerome James to a massive contract. James went on play 90 games in four seasons
- Traded everything but the kitchen sink for Eddy Curry
- Fired after going 26–65 as head coach at FIU
- Bought the Continental Basketball Association for $10 million in 1999
- This is a Sports Illustrated headline from 2001: “After selling team owners on his plan to turn their league around, Isiah Thomas quickly led the CBA into bankruptcy”
Had the audacity to publish a book of business advice
- Co-founded a popcorn company that, you guessed it, went out of business in 2012
Floyd Mayweather on Venmo
Venmo’s creepiest feature is that it shows everyone what you’re paying for. (Your friends probably put “drugs” every time you split a cab.) Money Mayweather’s transaction log would really be a sight to behold, and we know Floyd would be happy to share because he loves to flaunt his wealth. Let us see how often he’s paying for tiger food, Bugattis, Hublots and legal fees. If only the dollar amounts were public.
Rob Gronkowski on Pinterest
Gronk may have a reputation for being immature, but he’s 26 now. It’s time for him to settle down, and Pinterest is the destination for all things home-y. That’s where he’ll find interior decorating inspirations, recipes and style tips. Who knows? Maybe he needs a swinging wicker bench for his porch.
Andrew Luck on Instagram
What would it look like if the NFL’s second-most boring quarterback (after Russell Wilson) decided to share photos of his lunch?