Wednesday May 11th, 2016

The Angels are stricken with injuries, hurting for prospects and buried in the American League West standings, which has given rise to the possibility that L.A. would ship 24-year-old Mike Trout out of town to strengthen its farm system.

Even though general manager Billy Eppler has insisted the Angels don’t care to move Trout at this time, everyone and their mother has tried to formulate a trade package for just about every major league team to acquire the phenom. 

But let’s face it—not one team could reasonably trade for Trout, he’s just too valuable. And even if two sides reached an agreement, it’s no guarantee Trout would waive his no-trade clause to leave the Angels.

With that in mind, we’ve put together six trade packages that are just as reasonable as any other. 

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Cubs

Receive: Mike Trout

Send: Kyle Schwarber, Jorge Soler, Kris Bryant, the eventual rights to all of Kris Bryant’s children, Will Ferrell as Harry Caray, 10 yards of ivy from the outfield wall, a lifetime supply of poppyseed hot dog buns and Tommy La Stella

Reason Trout waives his no-trade clause: There’s a Subway right next to the stadium for all his sandwich needs.

Braves

Receive: Mike Trout

Send: Freddie Freeman, a copy of ATLiens, Ernie Johnson, Chandler Riggs, Rick Ross’s beard oil, whoever’s in their farm system these days

Reason Trout waives his no-trade clause: A noted weather buff, he gets to intern at the Atlanta-based Weather Channel.

Mets

Receive: Mike Trout

Send: Michael Conforto, Steven Matz, Noah Syndergaard, Season 5 of Seinfeld on DVD, a DVD player, Keith Hernandez, 60 Shake Shack coupons, cheese fries, Christian Hackenberg, a monthly MetroCard and Bartolo Colon

Reason Trout waives his no-trade clause: Home stadium is next to a marina, and he loves to fish.

Dodgers

Receive: Mike Trout

Send: Julio Urias, Corey Seager, Joc Pederson, bag of air from Kobe’s last game,​ Yasiel Puig’s banned helicopter, Adrian Gonzalez’s walk-up song, Jim Rome, Jimmy Kimmel and Joe Blanton

Reason Trout waives his no-trade clause: He doesn’t have to move.

Red Sox

Receive: Mike Trout

Send: Yoan Moncada, David Price, Mookie Betts, Matt Damon, the CITGO sign, 12-pack of Sam Adams Boston Lager, some clam chowder, three of David Ortiz’s chains and Robbie Ross Jr.

Reason Trout waives his no-trade clause: Gets a role in a new Mark Wahlberg movie.

Yankees

Receive: Mike Trout

Send: Aaron Judge, Luis Severino, Aroldis Chapman, Goose Gossage’s plaque in monument park, some signed A-Rod memorabilia, Zack Hample, John Sterling, stake in The Players’ Tribune, lots of money, a few championship rings, the right to use the Yankees’ clubhouse whenever they visit, George Costanza and Chase Headley.

Reason Trout waives his no-trade clause: He becomes the new Statue of Liberty.

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