Monday's P.M. Hot Clicks: Tess Jantscheck; Ranking the NBA's Mascots

Monday's P.M. Hot Clicks feature the lovely Tess Jantscheck and our ranking of the NBA's mascots

Author:
Andy Gray
Publish date:
Oct 24, 2016

Ranking the NBA Mascots

Good, but not great.
Joe Robbins/Getty Images

The NBA season kicks off tomorrow and The Crossover (SI's new NBA vertical) has all the info you need to prepare for the season. Of course, the most important part of any basketball season is the mascots. We've ranked all 26 in the gallery below (the Lakers, Warriors, Knicks and Nets don't have one) and it's good to see Toronto finally win something. (Click here for full-size gallery.)

Ranking the NBA's Mascots

#26: Lucky the Leprechaun — Boston Celtics

It’s hard to even call Lucky a “mascot.” He looks more like a guy who threw on a cheap Leprechaun outfit and showed up at your Halloween party.

#25: Stuff the Magic Dragon — Orlando Magic

Stuff isn’t a bad idea for a mascot, it’s actually really good. The problem here is the color scheme. It should be blue and white.

#24: Franklin — Philadelphia 76ers

Michael Perez/AP; Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE/Getty Images

Like the on-court product in Philadelphia, Franklin desperately needs a rebuild. Though he still looks better than the Sixers’ last mascot, Hip Hop (inset). Yikes.

#23: G-Wiz and G-Man — Washington Wizards

G-Wiz isn’t that bad, he’s funny looking, but G-Man is horrendous.

#22: Clutch the Bear — Houston Rockets

The Rockets seem to miss the mark here. Why go with a moderately cute bear when any sort of alien or astronaut would be better?

#21: Chuck the Condor — Los Angeles Clippers

Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE via Getty Images

Chuck is certainly unique, but he looks just like Toucan Sam from Fruit Loops, except Sam looks better.

#20: Jazz Bear — Utah Jazz

The headband is a good look. Other than that… Meh.

#19: Slamson the Lion — Sacramento Kings

He’s got a great mane, but that’s about it. What’s wrong with his eyes?

#18: Hugo the Hornet — Charlotte Hornets

Great to see Hugo back in Charlotte after “Buzz City” returned in 2014. He also wears Jordans now, which is cool.

#17: Boomer — Indiana Pacers

Good, but not great.

#16: Champ and Mavs Man — Dallas Mavericks

Champ is solid, Mavs Man is atrocious. We should stop kidding ourselves, though; Mark Cuban is the Mavs’ real mascot.

#15: Grizz — Memphis Grizzlies

Very solid mascot. The big furry guy obviously fits the team’s nickname.

#14: Blaze the Trail Cat — Portland Trail Blazers

Great idea, cool name. And yet, like the Blazers, Blaze isn’t quite ready to be top-tier material yet.

#13: The Coyote — San Antonio Spurs

Are we sure this isn’t actually Wile E. Coyote?

#12: Hooper — Detroit Pistons

Emblematic of the team’s “horsepower,” Hooper represents the Pistons well. He’s a game day staple at The Palace for a reason.

#11: Crunch the Wolf — Minnesota Timberwolves

There’s really nothing bad to say about Crunch. Good, solid choice that represents the state.

#10: Burnie — Miami Heat

Cute enough for the kids, and a good fit for the Heat. The basketball nose is a nice touch.

#9: Rumble the Bison — Oklahoma City Thunder

Since you can’t have thunder as a mascot, the Bison is a great fit instead. Rumble is a good mix of cute and intimidating.

#8: Moon Dog and Sir CC — Cleveland Cavaliers

They’re not quite LeBron and Kyrie, but Moon Dog and Sir CC are a solid duo in Cleveland. And they’re leagues ahead of the Indians’ mascot, Slider.

#7: Harry the Hawk — Atlanta Hawks

Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images

Harry is intimidating, and also is a great fit with the team nickname of course, which always scores bonus points with me.

#6: Rocky the Mountain Lion — Denver Nuggets

The name and the look are great. So is the jumpsuit.

#5: Pierre the Pelican — New Orleans Pelicans

One of the best. Simply looks awesome. Pierre is unique, fits the team and is intimidating.

#4: Go the Gorilla — Phoenix Suns

The Gorilla is among the best and most iconic mascots in the league. What was meant to be a one-time gag during a Suns game in 1980 quickly took the crowd by storm, and the rest is history. No need for a Harambe joke here.

#3: Bango the Buck — Milwaukee Bucks

Bango is awesome. He does backflips off of ladders and dunks, how cool is that?

#2: Benny the Bull — Chicago Bulls

Benny is the epitome of a great mascot. When he’s not taunting the opponents or dancing with referees, Benny is great at pumping up the crowd. His antics even landed him on The Jerry Springer Show (inset).

#1: The Raptor — Toronto Raptors

The best. The Raptor checks all the boxes: dinosaur, intimidating, funny and full of antics. He once invaded a Toronto city council meeting to celebrate a playoff series victory, rubbed a bald guy’s head (inset) and left.

Help Send This 97-Year-Old Cubs Fan to the World Series

A Cubs fan has launched a Go Fund Me page so her 97-year-old grandfather can attend the World Series. The guy served in Pearl Harbor and had tickets to the 1945 World Series but couldn't go. So do a solid and give him a few bucks so his World Series dream can come true.

Ryan Lochte's Dog Turns Eight (again)

Happy 8th birthday, Carter! Hope this is a better 8th birthday than the previous two.

Tess Jantscheck: P.M. Lovely Lady of the Day

Tess Jantscheck is the first model I've come across with the name "Tess" and I am a big fan. Could be a potential name of my daughter down the line. Stay tuned. In the meantime, this Tess is this afternoon's LLOD (click for full-size gallery).

Good Metaphor

Strangest Story of the Weekend

Odds & Ends

Portland State's Breanne Chilton-Eddy scored the best soccer goal of the weekend ... Meanwhile, this MLS player got fined for twerking ... If you're a Cubs fan, you should take a look at our timeline. Some pretty cool photos in there ... The Cowboys cheerleaders dressed up for Halloween ... Making sense of the AT&T/Time Warner merger ... Hundreds of Rhode Island women wore yoga pants to protest man who dislikes yoga pants ... BIG NEWS! Girl Scout Cookie-flavored cereals are on the way!

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I Accidentally Left the Best Version of Twist and Shout Out of This Morning's Hot Clicks

[youtube:https://youtu.be/njS6-OWXO-c]

Email andy_gray@simail.com with any feedback or ping me on Twitter. Click here for previous editions of Hot Clicks. Visit our Extra Mustard Page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories and the latest Cheerleader of the Week gallery. Also check out the SwimDaily Page for the latest updates and Instagram pictures of models who have appeared in our issues.