The annals of baseball history feature no shortage of weird injuries. People come up with new lists of them every year, some even make artwork commemorating them. Sammy Sosa sat due to sneeze-induced back spasms. Glenallen Hill crashed into a glass table amid a nightmare about being covered in spiders. Jeremy Affeldt lacerated his hand while separating frozen hamburger patties. Clint Barmes broke his collarbone while carrying venison up a flight of stairs. Vince Coleman was devoured by an automated tarp. Joel Zumaya developed inflammation in his wrist from playing Guitar Hero.
The 2013 season hasn't even begun and already we have Carl Pavano — a man who knows enough about weird injuries to be nicknamed "American Idle" — lacerating his spleen while shoveling snow, and prospect Bryce Brentz shooting himself in the leg while cleaning a handgun. But if you were worrying that players may run out of new ways to get hurt, along came Thursday's news cycle to gift-wrap a fresh injury: Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus was scratched from the lineup due to post-tattoo sensitivity.
Andrus spent nine hours under the needle earlier this week while getting a large tattoo of his late father on his left shoulder. The image features bats, a baseball, a basketball, a track shoe, a bear claw and a bust of his father below an inscription reading, "Your Loving Memory." The soreness was enough to sideline him for a day, though he only missed out on an exhibition game — a February exhibition game, at that — and manager Ron Washington didn't sound too worked up. "Elvis has been working hard, and having another off day isn't going to hurt him," he told reporters. "He'll be ready tomorrow."
Andrus was replaced in the lineup by Jurickson Profar, the consensus top prospect in baseball but a player who otherwise lacks an open position. With Andrus slated to represent Venezuela in the upcoming World Baseball Classic, Profar figures to get long look this spring, and could force the Rangers to juggle players if he makes a strong enough case, though whether that means pushing second baseman Ian Kinsler or DH Lance Berkman to first base remains to be seen. In the meantime, we're hopeful that Left Field Cards printmaker Amelie Mancini sees fit to include Andrus in her next Bizarre Injuries series.