If you were worried about the fate of Guido the Italian Sausage — the unfortunately named costume from the Milwaukee Brewers/Klement's Sausage Race that went missing earlier this month — rest easy. Not only has the costume been recovered, but Ted Berg of USAToday's Game On! blog has details about the latest twists and turns in the case.
The short version is that the costume went missing on the night of Feb. 16, worn out of a Cedarburg, Wisc., bar by an unidentified perpetrator who made appearances at two other area bars that night. After the story came to light on Wednesday, two men returned the costume to one of those bars, T.J. Ryan's, dropping it off and running away after telling the bartender that she "didn't see anything."
Unnamed sources contacted Berg to shed new light on the situation. As expected from the combustible mix of alcohol and oversized mascot costumes, the costume's disappearance was part of a prank executed by six "over-served and underappreciated" Wisconsin residents ranging in age from 26 to 55. In addition to making a few bar appearances wearing the costume, the pranksters took the opportunity to add to the ever-increasing glut of "Harlem Shake" videos, which have apparently replaced manufacturing as America's top export. So yes, if you need a version of the video starring a Racing Sausage, they've got one. Me, I don't even need the CC Sabathia one, but then I'm a 43-year-old curmudgeon whose ability to steer clear of viral pop culture memes is legendary enough that I never watched more than one minute of Friends, and can't even hum "Call Me Maybe."
The perps attached a punny note to the costume when they returned it. You're forgiven for groaning:
Sorry I'm such a sauced weenie. You probably think I'm the wurst. I started feeling the heat as the police began to ketchup by connecting the links. I know it was a greasy move so here I am. Donate the mustard and drink the beer. Take me back to the Land of the Brew… Much Love, ur Cedarburg Crew.
Neither Randall Simon nor Bernie Brewer could not be reached for comment.