Are you a Padres fan with a wildly inflated sense of what you can do on a baseball field and a desire to see all 81 San Diego home games? Well, you're in luck, because the Padres have just the promotion for you. For one day and one day only, San Diego will award season tickets to any fan who can come out to Petco Park and hit a home run.
The giveaway, called "Swing For Your Seats," will take place on Mar. 15 at the Padres' home field between 8 AM and 4 PM. Contestants will get two swings at a chance to hit a dinger; anyone who somehow manages to put one over the wall will get two 2014 season tickets in the upper infield section. Anything other than a homer nets you zip. Bonus points will apparently not be awarded if you take your swings wearing a monk's garment or the San Diego Chicken costume.
The contest is only open to fans who are 16 and older, and anyone who played collegiately or in the pros at any level is ineligible for the prize, meaning that Khalil Greene will just have to find another way to go to Padres games. Of course, by eliminating anyone who's shown even a rudimentary ability to hit a ball past 300 feet, the Padres have made their giveaway just about impossible for the average fan. Honestly, hitting homers in Petco already seems like a Quixotic endeavor for Major League hitters, given the park's spacious dimensions. According to ESPN's park factors, Petco ranked 17th in homer allowance in 2013, and is the second-most difficult NL West park to homer in, behind AT&T Park in San Francisco.
That said, any Padres fan with a bat and an uppercut swing might as well give this a shot. Downside, you barely get the ball out of the infield and tear your rotator cuff in the process. Upside, you manage a ridiculous feat and get to see Tyson Ross and Eric Stults pitch whenever you want as your reward. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the shortest point to a homer in Petco is 322 feet down the line in right field, so if you haven't already, start taking some hacks left-handed.