Week 13 Picks: Mustard Style

Because Comcast was kind enough to throw in the NFL Network with my GolTV subscription, I was one of the fortunate few who saw the Packers-Cowboys game last night. In case you missed it, the Cowboys rode a generous pass interference call (the NFL really should let referees call illegal contact on those kind of plays) to a 10-point victory. Along the way we learned that Texas Stadium is the Lambeau Field of the South, Brett Favre's Achilles heel is his right forearm, and the NFL Network is trying to make people think every play is 4th and 1 with that annoying red line of scrimmage.

Onward with the week 13 picks...

Cleveland at Arizona (-1): Neil Rackers was so angry after missing a game-winning field goal last week that he struck an NFL Films camera with his helmet, causing the camera to hit a cameraman in the face. The cameraman was unhurt, so that's good news for people who aren't Kenny Rogers. Pick: Cleveland

San Diego at Kansas City (+6): Brodie Croyle looks like he belongs in a primetime TV show playing a high school quarterback. That's his true calling. It's about time he gave up this pro football nonsense and focused on that. Pick: San Diego

Detroit at Minnesota (-4): The Vikings' win over the Giants last week was a real statement game. Specifically, the statement was "our pass defense is better at scoring than our pass offense." Pick: Detroit

Jacksonville at Indianapolis (-6.5): Anthony Gonzalez is doing his part to help Peyton Manning deal with the absence of Marvin Harrison. The Colts rookie receiver lets Manning call him Marvin, and he constantly regales Manning with tales of the great games they played in 2003. Pick: Jacksonville

Houston at Tennessee (-3.5): There's only one thing that can get Tennessee out of their current three game funk -- the passionate spirit of a shirtless Bruce Pearl. Albert Haynesworth's return would help as well. Pick: Tennessee

San Francisco at Carolina (-3): After last week's overtime win Mike Nolan awarded game balls to everyone on the team. To make sure Alex Smith didn't experience any more trauma to his shoulder, Vernon Davis accepted Smith's game ball for him. Pick: San Francisco

New York Jets at Miami (-1): Despite an 0-11 record, the Dolphins find themselves favored on Sunday. The bookies clearly aren't taking into account the effect Ricky Williams' injury will have on the team's Ch'i energy. Pick: New York Jets

Atlanta at St. Louis (-3): The Rams are just like the candy section of a 7-11. Torry Holt is a Fast Break, Adam Carriker is a Jolly Rancher, Marc Bulger is a Caramel Crunch Bar, La'Roi Glover is a Jelly Belly, and last but not least, Gus Frerotte is a Butterfinger. Pick: Atlanta

Seattle at Philadelphia (-3): The NFL Network is reporting that when a team asked the Eagles about acquiring Donovan McNabb before the trade deadline, Philadelphia proposed a deal for three first-round picks. Just to clarify, the Eagles weren't offering three first-round picks to whoever would take McNabb, they wanted to receive three first-round picks for him. Pick: Philadelphia

Tampa Bay at New Orleans (-3): Sean Payton has been very annoyed with his team's inconsistency. To remedy the situation he has asked his players to give him a schedule outlining which Sundays they'll actually show up to play. Pick: New Orleans

Denver at Oakland (+3.5): Mike Shanahan's stubborn decision to kick the ball to Devin Hester cost the Broncos a key game last week. On the bright side, Grady Little thought it was the right move. Pick: Denver

New York Giants at Chicago (+1): How bad are things for Eli Manning? Rex Grossmanhas sympathy for him. That's like Paris Hilton feeling bad for somebody with a sexual promiscuity problem. Pick: New York Giants

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh (-7): Although the Steelers had to endure playing sixty minutes in muddy slop, last Monday's turf debacle is starting to pay dividends. This week Heinz Field was named the host of the 2008 Bikini Mud Wrestling Championships. Pick: Pittsburgh

New England at Baltimore (+20.5): If there was ever a time for the struggling Ravens defense to show they still have what it takes ... this is definitely not it. Pick: New England

Buffalo at Washington (-5.5): Nothing funny to say here. Just condolences to all of Sean Taylor's family, friends, teammates, and fans. Pick: Washington

Last Week: 7-9Season: 83-82-10

Got something to say to Eric? E-mail him at extramustardnflpicks@gmail.com