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The Climate

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Derrick Rose

Opposite Rose, Rajon Rondo exploded for 29 points, nine rebounds and seven assists in Game 1 on Saturday, and it was still pretty tough to notice after the Chicago point guard was done obliterating the Boston defense for 36 points and 11 assists in the Bulls' 105-103 victory. Throw in the fact that Rose looks like he won't even consider smiling until he (possibly single-handedly) wins the first-round series, and his performances may deserve Bourne-esque titles. The Rose Identity is behind us, with only Supremacy, Ultimatum and, of course, the Untitled Derrick Rose Project to go.

John Madden

The football broadcasting icon retired after 30 years in the booth. During that time, he became the most recognized voice in both the world of the NFL and in video games. It'll be tough now that Madden's gone, but I'll do my best to give Kornheiser NFL '10 a fair shake on the ol' PS3 this summer.

Quicken Loans Arena

People point to a number of different factors for Cleveland's dramatic defensive improvement this season, but the clear winner here is the Q Arena's decision to put Satan on the PA microphone when it's time to get the crowd to chant "De-fense!" Watch carefully during Cavs-Pistons Game 2 on Tuesday, and listen for the Overlord of Darkness. You can't miss him.

Los Angeles Dodgers

With eight consecutive victories and the highest run differential in the league, the Dodgers hit the road this week as one of the hottest teams in baseball. To be honest, though, a team made up of the kid from Rookie of the Year, various Kevin Costner characters and most of the cast of The Sandlot (including Smalls) could contend in the current NL West well past the All-Star break this year.

Matthew Stafford

All signs seem to point to Detroit's picking the Georgia quarterback with the No. 1 pick in Saturday's NFL draft, making him the new face of the struggling franchise. At first, Detroit was leaning toward sticking with whatever it is that Daunte Culpepper does after the ball is snapped, but Stafford won over the beleaguered team with his undeniable accuracy in the all-important Late Night Tableware Destruction Challenge. OK, the name is made up, but there's no reason this can't replace the power clean at next year's combine.

Yankees Pitching

Spearheaded by below-average baserunner Chien-Ming Wang, the Yankees let the Cleveland floodgates open to the tune of 22 runs on Saturday. This may seem like a bad sign of things to come for a team that has spent so much to contend for a World Series, but, really, allowing a "22" on the scoreboard and 10 per game in the four-game series is still pretty respectable*.

*In the NFC East.

Isiah Thomas

Florida International, in a move that can best be described as superbly entertaining, hired Thomas (or Thompson, depending on whom you ask) as basketball coach, and for no salary at that. The move makes sense for both parties -- FIU saves money in a tough economy and, in turn, Thomas opens up some much-need cap room to finally lure Lil' Romeo away from USC for $83 million.

Greg Paulus

The now ex-Duke point guard and former All-America high school quarterback is flirting with the idea of entering the open quarterback competition at Michigan. This, of course, sets the table for the first time a quarterback will excitedly slap the field, followed up by the inaugural on-field charging flop.

Dustin Pedroia

The 2008 AL MVP has been shot out of a cannon, with a scorching .235 average and two whole RBIs through Sunday. It also makes you think he really can't hit that high, inside fastball.

Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker

The hard-serving American tennis star married the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model this past weekend in Austin, Texas. It's hard to stay too mad at Roddick -- she had her shot, I think it's fairly clear that I was an above-average high school doubles player, and, at this point, I just don't want an Andre Agassi/Brooke Shields situation to happen to my career. My best to Andy.