Still more sports TV fun facts
• 1. I can't afford to follow baseball anymore -- every time I watch a game on TV, my wife schedules a four-hour spa session.
• 2. Do you have any idea how much electricity GE saves on NBC alone in any non-Olympic year?
• 3. I love "Outside the Lines: First Report," but when exactly are their second and third reports?
• 4. It's not beyond the realm of possibility, I guess, that one day there could be a Pole Vaulting Channel.
• 5. I have no doubt -- no doubt -- that a professional kickball league would attract more viewers than Major League Soccer.
• 6. Fox's
• 7. What do a wedding groomsman and a boxing broadcaster have in common? They both wear tuxedos while watching a good man go down.
• 8. Why don't sofas have cup holders?
• 9. The good news is I scoped clean during my recent colonoscopy. The bad news is my doctor was watching DirecTV's Sports Mix during the procedure.
• 10. ESPN officially changes its call letters to EFPN (Entertainment & Favre Programming Network) on Sept. 1.
• 11. With "
• 12. I wasn't a big fan of the 20th century, but the 21st century hasn't exactly rolled out the welcome mat for me.
• 13. I don't know if people rate golf announcers, but if they do, they underrate ABC's
• 14. I once was an organ grinder, but gave it up because the monkey wanted a bigger cut of the take.
• 15. If Versus' "
• 16. How is it that
• 17. If
• 19. Sometimes I sit on my front porch, sip from a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon and see America the way it used to be.
• 19a. P.S. I don't have a front porch.
• 21. ESPN's World Series of Poker telecasts are now in high-definition; I apologize to all viewers who are subjected to my made-for-low-definition mug.
• 22. If that's "
• 23. With my luck, when I die and I'm buried with my remote, they'll forget to change the batteries.