There is a tall, bald African-American man skipping right about now.
You can spot him along the banks of Lake Erie. He's the guy gripping a bunch of colorful balloons in his left hand, one of those enormous rainbow swirl lollipops in his right. Whoa -- do you hear that? He's singing! Loudly!
The recently fired Cleveland Cavaliers coach looks happy. Giddy! Ecstatic! As he should. Thanks to the team's recent decision to fire him with a year remaining on his contract, Brown can spend the 2010-11 NBA season collecting $2 million for:
A. Eating box after box of Yodels (Writer's note: The most delicious snack of all time).
B. Jabbing pins into his $49.95
C. Laughing hysterically.
Personally, I'd argue for C. After all, laughter
Thanks to the Cavs' decision to ax its unambiguously successful coach, Brown has washed his hands of the Cirque du Freak that is
Had Brown retained his job, his existence would have been
Thanks to Cleveland owner
The winner of the LeBron Sweepstakes? Not New York or Chicago or Miami or New Jersey or Cleveland.
The winner is Mike Brown.