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Zach Buchanan, of Dallas, says, "Jimmy, I don't know if this is old news, but watching the Mavs game yesterday, I got a quick look at what DeShawn Stevenson has tattooed on his neck: a five-dollar bill. If you could find out why he has that that'd be great, since I'm too lazy to search the Internet for the already existing explanation." Apparently, Stevenson got the five spot, along with a backwards P on his face last summer, but there isn't an explanation for the Lincoln ink. However, Abe recently had a message for Mavs.
Dear Mr. Traina:
I'm hairy.Not Steve Carrell in 40-Year-Old Virgin hairy. I don't look like Chewbacca from the neck down. I don't envy Robin Williams, but I am hairy.It started in middle school as an unfortunate byproduct of being the first boy to hit puberty. A little trail just below the belly button. A 'happy trail,' my friends said. It didn't make me so happy, especially as it progressed up my stomach, inch by inch, to the chest. Now, 23 years old, my chest is starting to resemble that of a 1970s porn star.I feel obliged to say I am not ashamed of this. I have friends who shave their chest religiously and I pity them. I am a man -- a man who invented the wheel.' And as a man I take pride in not looking like some greased-up swimmer.But...part of me wonders what it would feel like. What it would look like. Oh, to be young again.So I send you this e-mail as a plea for action. I won't shave my own chest, but I'll sure as hell let Carmen Electra do it.There is nothing emasculating about that.
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