1 Barry Bonds

"Balco Barry" surpasses Hank Aaron as the home run king, giving the asterisk more publicity than it's had since the Red Hot Chili Peppers decided to use it as their logo.

2 Jermaine O'Neal

He says he'd welcome a trade to the Lakers to play with Kobe Bryant. Too bad Bryant is still welcoming a trade to any team but the Lakers at the moment.

3 Mariner Moose

Mistaking Coco Crisp as an oddly dressed mascot for Cocoa Krispies, Mariner Moose runs into the Red Sox outfielder with an all-terrain vehicle. Milton Bradley should try to stay as far away from Moose as possible when he heads up north.

4 Alyssa Milano
She may have dated "more than half of a starting rotation" (her words, not ours) but she's not dating Russell Martin as has been rumored. ""We're not dating," she said. "He's my ex's (Brad Penny) catcher. I'm not an idiot." Fair enough. What if he was a first baseman?

5 Jake Brown

The Australian skateboarder cheated death after falling 45-feet to ground during the X Games and walking out of the building. His flailing body plummeting to the pavement probably got more YouTube clicks than the Evolution of Dance.

6 Snoop Dogg

The D-O Double G played point guard during last week's charity basketball game hosted by Baron Davis and Paul Pierce. He then sat next to Jermaine O'Neal and told him how good he'd look in purple and gold.

7 Mark Philippoussis

On the season finale of his reality show, Age of Love, he shockingly picked a hot kitten in 26-year-old Amanda Salinas instead of a 48-year-old cougar. Too bad the chances of the couple remaining an item past the viewing party in Vegas is about as slim as Philippousis regaining his credibility.

8 John Turturro

The Brooklyn native is the only thing saving The Bronx is Burning from fizzling around an over-acting cast of charecters. His portrayal of Billy Martin may be one of his best roles since his unforgettable portrayal of Jesus Quintana in The Big Lebowski.

9 Lou Ferrigno

The former bodybuilder and actor was sworn in as a reserve deputy sheriff in Los Angeles last week. Memo to criminals: You wouldn't like to see him when he's angry.

10 Vince McMahon

He's alive and well and was "served with a paternity suit" on his return to the soap opera that is WWE Raw after that whole death angle fell through.

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