Brush up on your Mario Lopez and Tiffany Thiessen trivia. :: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Evan Agostini/Getty Images
The semester has started, kids, and here's your first pop quiz (if this isn't your first, then some of your professors are downright evil): How well do you know your fictional colleges? If you want to prep, spend some quality time with your Saved by the Bell: The College Years DVDs.
College football headlines have abounded this offseason. Most of us know everything there is to know about the Rich-Rod hoopla. We know Jimmy Johns is a coke-slinging Alabama linebacker and not just a sub-shop. Heck, most of us even know about Michigan's new uniform. But there are other, equally compelling stories that have gotten lost in the shuffle this offseason, and The Love of Sports thinks that's a damn shame. So let's all welcome back Mustang football, vow to pay some attention to Temple and stop expecting Miami players to get arrested.
Life is full of disappointments, as Chris Rainey has discovered. The Florida running back was pumped about his schedule this semester -- "I'm taking sex classes," he told reporters -- but has since discovered pornography is not on the syllabus. His verdict: boo-ring!
Get your Gator grill-grates immediately. :: Courtesy of tailgatingideas.com
Game day is rapidly approaching, kids, and if you don't have a Quaffer (get your minds out of the gutter, this is a drinking apparatus, not a bodily function), a N-ice rack (again, something to keep your Solo cups clean, not a part of the human anatomy) or team-specific grill-grates (coolest thing ever, right?), then you're not ready for your first tailgate. Please go prepare immediately.
Sure, preseason previews, conference- and team-breakdowns and slightly premature tailgates get everyone pumped for college football kickoff, but if you really want to tap into everything that's good and holy about the game, check out these classic quotes (some of which are really witty, others of which are unintentionally hilarious) from some of the game's greatest. And just remember, "prayers work best when you have big players."
This is why I was afraid to ask my neighbors to turn down their music when I was in college.
ACC players have pale skin, thin necks and the same names as fictional child characters, too.
This isn't exactly campus news -- in fact, it's country news -- but it's so awesome we had to link to it anyway. This here is a fine, fine example of how to rile up your competitor, so take note and apply it on a micro scale.
Believe it or not, Vin Diesel's actually been in five movies that don't totally suck.
Lindsay Lohan :: Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images
Most cursed NFL positions ... Lohan likes Orton ... Ten baseball movies worth a replay ... Most memorable referee attacks in history ... Video: Fantasty football rap ... Streaker in snow.
Friday is College Colors Day. Dress accordingly.
We promise, it's not as sinister as it sounds. (Warning: strong language)