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Let The Cheerleaders Decide: Campus Clicks

Campus Clicks
By Mallory Rubin
This is Not a Numbers Game
Let the Texas and OU cheerleaders help determine your Heisman vote. :: Sports Illustrated : Getty

Like everyone else, The Angry T knows this will be a close Heisman Race. When all the top contenders have a myriad of touchdowns and yards and only one, tiny loss, how are voters to decide? Well, that's simple. Cheerleaders. Why compare Colt McCoy's stats to Sam Bradford's stats when you could compare the lovely Longhorns to the smokin' Sooners (we at SIOC believe alliteration is an underutilized literary device). Despite the fact that the Florida Gator representative is a former SIOC Cheerleader of the Week, we've got to side with the site and cast our vote for Texas on visuals alone. Oh, and in case you're wondering if someone's done a similar comparison for the BCS title-game matchup, the answer is yes.

Speaking of the Heisman...

Plenty of folks have thrown their support in Tim Tebow's corner. Ryan Parker, of Ryan Parker Songs fame, is one of them, as his latest musical montage, Tim Tebow is a Hero, makes clear. All the ladies out there will undoubtedly enjoy the multiple shots of a shirtless or nearly-shirtless Tebow, while all the gentleman (even the folks at the Big Lead, who are sick of the media's love affair with the boy wonder) will enjoy the numerous shots of Lane Kiffin's wife. If the Layla Kiffin inclusion confuses you, perhaps this lyric will clear up everything: "He ought to win another Heisman just like Archie Griffin/ And someday he'll have a wife just as hot as Lane Kiffin's."

Our Differences Only Make us Stronger

We realize this is turning into a very Florida-heavy Campus Clicks, but alas, we're at the mercy of the blogosphere. Last week, we told you about The Online Sports Fanatic's precarious living situation. The outspoken Gator fan lives in Tuscaloosa, which, for the geographically challenged among you, is the heart of Crimson Tide country. Sure enough, the OSF woke up after Florida's win to find his house and lawn covered in toilet paper and 'Bama pompom shreds, his Christmas reindeers rearranged in compromising positions and a stuffed gator hanging from his tree. Football really brings out the best in us. For further proof, just look at Bruce Cooper, who entered a woman's apartment and threatened her with a handgun after hearing her shout "Go Gators!" during Saturday's SEC title game.

Collision De Jure
Charlie Weis and Joe Paterno needed crutches and canes after their collisions. :: AP

Growing up, your mother probably told you it's unkind to laugh at the misfortune of others. But presumably, you're a college student or college graduate now, which means it's high time you stopped listening to what your mother says. To help you in this exercise, NextRound has grabbed video of three college football sideline collisions and asked readers to pick a favorite. Your contenders: Charlie Weis, Joe Paterno and Frank Beamer, who all got walloped in distinct (and distinctly amusing ... if you're mean) ways this season.

Yes, My Team is the Best in the Land

You may have missed USA Today's interactive breakdown of each coach's final top 25 ballot, but fear not, because Simon on Sports has the recap. A recap which consists entirely of quick hit blurbs making fun of the most absurd votes and the coaches who cast them, but a recap nonetheless.

[Redacted]

This take on UNC basketball is worth reading for the headline alone.

Them's Fighting Words

Sure, Penn State and USC will have only played each other eight times heading into this year's Rose Bowl, but the two share a lot of history. LAist says it's no coincidence both school's favor the "Fight On!" cheer.

Gotta Love Those 3 a.m. Drunk Dials

It's good to know that even after his previously perfect team chocked in the MAC conference title game, Ball State coach Brady Hoke's sense of humor remains intact.

Pop Culture Nugget

We've got an update for those of you who closely chronicle Oprah's weight fluctuations.

Today In Hot Clicks
Tori Praver :: Walter Chin/SI

Clicksy Awards: Most Bizarre Stories of 2008 ... Derrick Rose suffers the Injury of the Year ... More look-alikes ... Buchholz's new hot girlfriend ... Video: Young hit with cup ... Producer flips out.

Odds and Ends

More notes on the weekend that was ... Your Reverse Survivor hoops update ... How many former Cheerleaders of the Week can you spot? ... Get your Michigan championship rings, remember the good ole' days ... Bowl-by-bowl previews and predictions.

Let's Lubricate the World

We appreciate Bill Stewart's attempt to inspire the legions of down-trodden West Virginians, but really, announcing your state could "lubricate the world" (whether with oil or anything else) is never a good idea.

It's Monkey Time

When all else fails, dance.

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